Source Seminars

Lit up!

Good Morning!

The effect of yesterday's blog upon myself was phenomenal.  I found myself SINGING with happiness and content.  Buzzing about my duties I was in a state of JOY.  I kept Connecting in with my Higher Self and was absolutely IN LOVE!  I had struggled with the ability to love myself for years...the drought was finally over!

I did experience some puzzlement when no comments appeared.  For me, this was one of the most significant blogs I have ever written.  What was up?  I asked a dear one and they said that the blog was long and that the message wasn't that clear.  I resolved to re-work it and send it again today.  I asked another dear one and their response was 180 degrees different.  They said it was one of the most powerful blogs I have written and the reason they had not yet commented was because they were choosing to think about it longer so their words were more meaningful.

I don't know if you understood what I was saying or not.  Because I believe the message to be seminal and potentially hugely transformative, I am choosing to visit it again.

If you have not had difficulty in giving self-love, perhaps this blog is not important.  My experience has been that the majority of people are self-critical, self-condemning, and often project unworthiness upon themselves.

I have tackled this issue from many angles and I believe the revelation of what Higher Self means to me, and what the role and relationship of my Higher Self to my present self is and can be, has offered me a greater CONSISTENT experience of self-love than anything heretofore applied.

It is absolutely effortless to love myself when I identify with this purest, most perfect version of me (my Higher Self).  I know it exists, albeit in future, and I KNOW it is ever at the ready to assist me to move to it's fullest form.

When I do affirmations I Connect in with this powerful, fulfilled state and truly KNOW they are true.  I am one with the Essence of WHO I am...and that Essence is, even at this very moment, the pinnacle of all my present self has ever longed to be.

I feel so LOVED, accompanied, protected, and understood.  This is no "other" who does not know what I have been through, what I am currently dealing with, where my hopes and dreams are calling me.  My future self knows all and can guide me so beautifully with a true unconditional love and support.

My deep desire is that EACH of you who share this difficult struggle with lack of self-worth, paucity of real self-love, can make the Connection I did.  There will be ups and downs.  I notice when I am criticized I still have pain in my heart.  Now I have a clear choice: do I identify with this wounded ego of my past, or with this totally fulfilled and triumphant being of my future?  There is a place I can go with my feelings and feel sincere nurturing, understanding, and yes, SELF-Love!

I am still wishing for a more resonant name for this amazing part of me than "Higher Self".  I am open to your input!!

Loving you always, k

      

My Higher Self

GOOD Morning!

I may write of my experiences back East and for now suffice to say it was a real ego-basher, among other things.  Not that ego-bashing isn't good, mind you, but it does leave one rather fragile and this one, at least, prone to tearful "outbreaks".

Our little family journeyed to last night's Lahiri Commemorative in Escondido.  We arrived early and thus were able to occupy our own row together near the altar.  We were sans the normal morning 6 hour overlay for the health reasons mentioned yesterday.  That was definitely noted yet I did feel such a joy and peace just gazing at my line of Great Ones and the large photo of Lahiri Himself.

Echoing the experience of early morning, I experienced a wave of tears and emotion as I encountered the difference between my lumbering ego, flawed so obviously, and the deep, pervasive longing in my heart to be One with the ONE.

When my ego is fragile from self-awareness I am prone to reaction and quick anger.  Any more revelations of short-comings from the external, well-deserved, of course, seem to break the back of my composure and allow the flaws to be even more prominent.  When I do have a moment of Self-Recollectedness, the difference between how my ego has shown up, and how much my Soul just longs for HOME and ONENESS, is excruciatingly painful for my old friend.... my heart.

So my prayer as I approached Lahiri was woven around the desire to be even-minded and emotionally mature, to be purged of this heart-pain and woundedness, that I might perceive and live in my Soul, now "hidden behind the accumulated darkness of ages".  I really gave my "Grandfather" a Soul Call, and I KNEW He heard me and would respond!

When back at the house I had the gift of giving beloved Charan a session with the Himalayan bowls.  He is such a gratifying receiver as he goes quickly out into the Infinite Love.  He shared some very kind words after which gave both happiness and great hope for my future in this Harmonic Healing realm.

I returned to my computer and an incredible, long interview I had been reading which beautifully tied together many pieces of information I had received about the current state of affairs on planet earth...and what is coming right around the corner (it's GOOD!)  Any of you who have not even considered such things would likely think I am nuts for my interest and belief in what I read.  Yet, yes, I believe it pretty much through and through.  If  you desire to go on an interesting walk behind the curtain of this Land of Oz:http://divinecosmos.com/start-here/davids-blog/975-undergroundbases

I was sharing some of this with Dennis when he chose to check out who this David Wilcock was.  He has just written a book I intend to order today: Source Field Investigations: The Hidden Science and Lost Civilizations Behind the 2012 Prophecies

Dennis went immediately to youtube and put in his name. He chose

Project Camelot interviews David Wilcock - Part 1 of 4

an hour-long piece created in 2007.  We had been enroute to bed so had no intention of watching long.  We were entirely captivated by this delightful, fresh, deeply aware man who seemed quite younger than his 37 years.  We viewed the entire tube and kept looking at one another, smiling broadly, at his remarkable, yet un-self-assuming, tale.

Then, it came. The answer to my heartfelt prayer at the altar earlier that evening.  He spoke of the Higher Self, who is that part of us that is already FREE, and who comes to us from our glorious future, to assist us to get there quicker.  I bolted upright in shock....I had come into this thought on my own years earlier and then quite forgotten about it.  I had conceived this idea that in future I was already in full experience of the ONE.  It occurred to me then that this Future me could be of great assistance to my present-time Wake-up.

David spoke of how time could be collapsed like an accordion and this wondrous being, actually us!, can certainly be an incredible guide and teacher.  I had never really resonated with the term "Higher Self".  It just hadn't come to me that this was the name for that future me that I had thought of so many years ago.  Now the concept had come to full, wondrous meaning and I just lit up!

I KNEW this amazing remembrance of what I had already known and forgotten was Lahiri's gift to me. 

I could easily embrace the reality of my own perfection and ONENESS as it was absolutely true!  The bit of God that I am IS truly FREE in the future!  I can call upon myself! at any time to assist me to grow steadily into the Light.

This morning I was doing my I am One with the ONE affirmation, and Thou art my Father Thou hast no karma, I am Thy Child I have no karma, and the Poem Samadhi as well as The Light of Smiles and I experienced their absolute verity with the Connection to my Higher Self.  There was no "trying" to imagine the truth, or struggling to find that place where they were so.  I was there instantly as I aligned with my Higher Self who IS LIVING IN THAT LIGHT NOW!

My dream is to be living The Light of Smiles moment-by-moment.  I am already doing so in a future dimension!

My God is so very, very good.  My Grandfather Lahiri is so very, very good. My Higher Self is so very, very good!

And guess what?  YOURS IS TOO!

Loving you always, k

Happy to be back!

Good Morning!

I really, really, really chose to say "Good-bye" to you each as I travelled back East for Himalayan Bowl Training and Harmonic Therapy instruction.  The time here seemed to vanish and then I had no computer access out there.  I sure thought of you though.  The 9 days were incredible in what they provided in  personal and spiritual growth. 

This morning I have been up for hours on East Coast time, haha.  I have been fasting too as each of my lodging-mates at the Course were "choosing health" so it wasn't long before my body joined that "party"-not!  My tentative state forced a cancel of this AM's 6 hour. Since I arrived in late last night that was probably a reasonable choice.  Today is Lahiri Mahaysaya's Mahasamadhi. (That's pronounced "Lari Ma-shy" btw.  At least that's the way Yognananda says it, and I figure He should know.)  Lahiri's Birthday is this Friday, so we WILL have our long meditation then.  I am definitely looking forward to it!

Right now, just choosing to share a couple thoughts based on personal experience. 

1. Fasting while traveling is extremely wise.  The vibrations in airports, train stations, and the like are not conducive highest choice ingestion.  Fasting puts you right out of the temptation of the not-so-great and usually expensive travel-fare. They don't serve food on domestic flights anymore, and beverages are hardly healthy.  It was "water" for me, and that worked. Of course, if your journey just to get to destination is greater than 24 hours, this may be a tough task.  I also fast 3 consecutive days monthly, so that might work for me.  Never tried it though.

2. Outpicturing your "ideal day" before arising is a great way to increase the chances for your happy experience.  You can work in all the events/interactions that REALLY matter in the long run.  If we don't give wise consideration before ego, routine, habit, and unconsciousness take over, the day can often be a pale phantom of what it might have been.

My love enfolds you! k

"Get away from my ocean of suffering"

Good Morning!

I have had blogs in my heart and head AND the days have been slipping away.  And you know what?  I am better when I blog....reaching out to the God in you from the God in me.  I choose our FREEDOM from our self-imposed amnesia and blogging assists me to REMEMBER.  I won't write when there is an empty canvas and when there IS something to share, I intend to do better at sitting down and getting it out to you.

I have been struggling with anger, hurt, and pain...all from deep inside.  Age-old, I believe, and yet watered by certain hurtful events in my childhood, triggered by certain current events "out there".  This has NOTHING to do with anything external...those things just nick a hole in the ego-armour and let what's inside ooze out.  Ultimately, there IS nothing "out-there", it ALL is created by my ego's attachment to the material world, the senses, to it's thwarted desires and mistaken perception of  "Reality". 

So, yesterday my ego was really on a "Toot".  I stumbled, eyes glazed, into the Dome to do what repair work I could.  I little thought I would be able to meditate enough to do any good whatsoever!  Still, I am committed to my twice-daily forays against the slings and arrows of ego-domination and just living in the material world.  I also recalled what each of my Gurus has said to do when overcome with life's challenges and troubles.  One-word advice:MEDITATE!

I bumped through my Hong Sau and Aum techniques and then began Kriya.  For those of you that have this Magic Key to Liberation....I garnered a real "plum" of advice at Convocation this summer that has really changed-up my practice (Thank God!)  At the Kriya Review class, the minister said that if we catch ourselves "thinking"...mind-wandering, during a Kriya we can REPEAT that Kriya and do so with concentration.  We can't repeat  the whole thought-damned string, but the one we "caught" ourselves on...YES!

Wow....WHAT A DIFFERENCE SUCH ADVICE HAS MADE!!

Anyway, thanks to that blessed tip, I went deeper and deeper in my practice yesterday, when I first thought I could barely manage to do a couple sets, given my angst and restlessness.

IT CHANGED EVERYTHING!!!

Blessed meditation!  It took me into that internal REALITY where I could SEE that all that was "bringing me down" was utter nonsense and completely UNREAL.  I came into that sacred space of PEACE. LOVE, and absolute SOLACE.  I experienced the UNCONDITIONAL Love of my God and my Gurus and my Saints (and my Hidden Helpers).

All was well again.  Meditation brings one back to one's TRUE SELF.  Our SOULS, who we REALLY are, are brimming with Divine Love and Joy.  When a part of our soul becomes attached to the play of the senses, and the constant flux of UP and DOWN in the material world, it creates "ego" and we get all cloudy and covered with ignorance....ignorance of our Divine origins and inheritance as Children of the ONE.

"GET AWAY FROM MY OCEAN OF SUFFERING, O ARJUNA". Krishna thus spake to Arjuna to assist him to wake-up from the delusion of this world.  We, too, must CONSTANTLY REMEMBER such advice!!

Meditation is surely, if not the only, one of the best, ways to REMEMBER.

When "boisterous storms of trials shriek" and "worries howl at you", "drown their voices, loudly chanting GOD, GOD, GOD."

If this reminder assists even one of you struggling in this mire of delusion, my day has been successful!

Loving you always, k

The Power of HABIT

Good Morning!

I have been choosing to blog AND I have continually allowed my "duties" to preclude this choice!  Finally, I am just blogging nearly first thing on this Labor Day.  A good long round of affirmations, Good Mornings, prayers and poems made me ready to leave my bed, haha.  My Master's words are the prescription I required to overcome feelings and thoughts of lesser worth.

The most important revelation I have had of late is the uncompromising, overpowering power of HABIT.  I do believe habit is the life-molder, for good OR ill, that is the most subtle yet perhaps strongest force in determining the short-term and long-term painting on the canvas of one's life.

I observe myself.  I watch the habit of Temple attendance growing and waning, depending on how assiduously I monitor my choices.  Right now it's in the waxing phase.  Dennis and I are going nearly every night and we shape our lives around the Temple Calendar.  Why? Purely because we feel happier, more God-filled (which means Joy-filled, Peace-filled, Love-filled) when we do. 

Yesterday I awoke in a mood.  I am not sure exactly why...that's just how it was.  I am used to being cheerful and I don't like how I feel, or reflect, when in one of these nasty things.  We went to the early meditation and stayed right through until Sunday Service. 

I reluctantly went to a hatha yoga class only because I have not missed a day since I started (habit), and know if I do, I will experience resistance the following day.  Listen folks, most everyone at these classes are decades younger, and absolutely gorgeous.  I am the one maintaining the presence of the silver-haired generation, haha!  Yet, I know it's good for me on ALL levels: body, mind, and soul.  Ego-flattening always is.

I visited Master's hermitage and prayed.  I still felt stuck.  I went to the Gita class which was really powerful, as well as the accompanying meditation.  When I left I noticed the mood had finally lifted.  That's how long it took!

Still, if I hadn't done each of these things which probably were progressively chipping away at it, perhaps this mood could have hung on for DAYS. Who knows?

I read some of an SRF Lesson before going to sleep and that too assisted.

I believe we each have "stuff" lurking subconsciously underneath our conscious life experience.  It's going to come out one way or another.  If we have strong, healthy, soul-fortifying HABITS in place when it does, we have a much better chance of being victorious!

Daily meditation, energization, affirmation, attendance at soul-lifting activities are all just HABITS.  Involvement does not really indicate a more spiritual temperament.  I believe we are ALL spiritual.  It only indicates we have turned wise choices, happiness-affirming choices, into HABITS.

The negatives in our lives are just habits too.  We must atrophy them with non-use.  First introspect.  What habits are dragging you down, bumming you out?  Next, water the opposite/positive habit with repeated use, no matter how difficult that may be in the beginning.  Keep doing this until you have created a stronger positive/opposite habit.  Stay aware...the other stuff still has some footage in the subconscious.  Lurking there, it will jump out to derail you any time it thinks the opportunity is ripe.

If this happens, put yourself in the most uplifting environment you can.  Sometimes that will be through books or teachings of the Masters and Christ.  Sometimes that will be physical places like churches, temples, meditation gardens, or incredibly beautiful natural settings. Sometimes it will include association with God-inspired others.  DO THE NECESSARY! 

Whatever it takes, keep watering your good habits with repetition and you will be victorious over the ego and it's hidden store of bummer bombs.

I personally believe the most important habit is meditation.  It brings you in contact with your True SELF....which is Pure and Perfect.  If there is much "accumulated darkness of ages" you may have to keep chipping away for a while to get to the "good stuff".  So what?  It's under there, shining, and waiting for you to rediscover it.  Keep digging and you will find a geyser of Happiness burst through the ego-veil at last!

Habits of church activity attendance, spiritual reading including daily Lesson study... or Bible reading for Christians and Jews, affirmations and prayers, retreat, chanting, and interaction with spiritually-directed others, are incredibly helpful.  Right diet and daily exercise certainly have their place too.

I don't think any of it is rocket-science.  Cultivation of Soul-revealing Habits will eventually reveal your true nature of everlasting BLISS.

Loving you always, k