Source Seminars

The way the mind works...

Good Evening,

So I've been a good girl this week...gone to EVERY activity at the Temple.  Wow....doing so made me so HAPPY, truly.  I'd do my 3 hours of med in the morning in the dome, and most of the evening Temple activities included at least an hour of meditation or more.  Each night I was meditating with these "old-timers" who were usually quiet, serious, and deep.  What an incredible meditation group!!  When Saturday rolled around, God gave my ego a "bone" and approved my seeing a current movie, Angels and Demons.  Wouldn't recommend it...I came off it feeling unsatisfied and that I had wasted my "treat".

So...tonight was "Movie Night" at the Temple.  It was a video of one of the top monks speaking on a spiritual topic.  My ego was non-stop moaning over that...and Den's joined in.  The vibe was basically  "This is going to be BORING, and no FUN at all!"

I went to Mass which I enjoyed and came home to meditate before the Temple feature.  I was incredibly restless...the worst meditation I'd had in ages.  Why?  Simple...my mind.  It had created such a dismal picture of what that "movie" was going to be like...it was very begrudging and unhappy.  Den's was just the same.  We both thought, " Hardly anybody will go to this...on a Saturday night!!  Ha!"  We nearly bailed...he said he was so sleepy he'd rather go to bed and I was thinking staying home and studying my SRF Lessons sounded a lot better. 

Thank God...I asked Guidance.  It was unequivocal....I MUST go.  I dragged us both down there and walked in.  OMG.  I have NEVER seen the Temple so packed...with so MUCH joyful, expectant, excited energy.  I wondered...what do these people know that I don't?

The video came on and it was ABSOLUTELY MESMERIZING.  Over-the-top fantastic!! Within one minute I knew there was nowhere I'd rather be...nothing I would rather be doing.  This was the Cherry on Top of a great week at the Temple...and God's reward to me for persevering.

What an incredible lesson!!!  I forgot to say that my reaction to the movie flyer was identical to my prior reactions, over the years, to the thought of going to those same Temple activities I had attended  this week.  I did notice that...and it made me pause.  I had been so wrong...this was such a similar judgmental response that I realized it too may well be wrong.  Yep!!

That's how the mind works!  It sandbags things in old familiar ways to keep us stuck.  It nearly robbed me of an amazingly satisfying, uplifting, inspiring experience this evening. 

I'm keeping a better watch out from here on in.  Those old worn out suppositions and robotic behaviors do not reap me fun or happiness.  My mind isn't my friend...it can be my servant if I put it in it's place.  I have made myself immensely happy this week by trying on new spiritual activities that have raised my frequency and kept me moving forward.  I intend to keep making choices that feed my life's fervent goal: God Realization.

If you are less than 100% happy, start observing.  Where is your mind leading you?  Remember the way it works...if you aren't in charge, it will do whatever will keep it in power...and you a slave! 

Loving you in the ONE, k

Subtle Slipping Away

Good Morning!

I have been going to Temple each night something has been offered, as I spoke of a few days ago.  It's comical how each time I reflect " I can't believe I have been missing out on this all these years!"

Last night was no exception.  Our eloquent minister spoke on Spiritual Progress to a Temple only about a third full.  What a pity.  As I sat there truly enjoying his words, and the remarkably silent preceding meditation (and post meditation and healing service as well) I did what Den tells Journey participants NOT to do!  I thought of those that would have so much benefited from being there and hearing of which he spoke.

I thought of someone who had come out of our last Level IV all fired up with Divine Zeal...nothing would get in their way HOME!  In fact, they had subsequently mentioned to me making some of these same choices I had this week.... Weds. night meditation and Thursday night Service.   Now I notice they are no longer present...what happened?

Hopefully each of us have certain opportunities during our busy lives to recharge and recommit.  These may be spiritual retreats or gatherings, private seclusions, or even a Source training.  We usually come off these events with Fresh Awakening and a new commitment to make our Highest Choice for our Freedom in this Lifetime.  If we can but step back and observe, we will see the Fraud world gradually step in and dilute our passion for Truth, and our resolution to remain Awake.  What can we do?

Self-Awareness is the first step, the next is to reach out and catch the draft of anyone in our environment or circle who is Still Connected.  Hopefully we each have someone like that...if not, CHOOSE to cultivate a relationship in whatever way possible with someone perhaps a little a head of you on the Spiritual Quest (at the moment).  They will keep you striving and Remembering.  Notice the choices they are making in use of time and association and quietly begin to follow.  Once you have upleveled your frequency by making your Highest Choice (this can happen quite quickly) you will naturally and intuitively begin to Choose rightly on your own.  Rightly is defined as making the Choices leading to your True and LASTING Happiness.

If you are isolated from such physical beings (and I believe this is often just a choice you have made...there are meditation groups and centers most everywhere) you may Keep Company with the Great Ones through reading Their writings or listening toTheir lectures on CD.  You may also follow the instructions of Swami Sri Yukteswar in The Holy Science.  He defined Keeping Company as keeping the attributes and appearance of said Great One/s in your mind and reflecting upon them.  Keeping Them in your heart and offering them your natural love, attuning yourself with Them constantly, and being One with them in Principle is also part of it.  Most important is affectionately following lamblike, Their Holy Instructions as they are freely and spontaneously given.  If They are not physically present this would entail both deep familiarity with Their writings and talks and ALSO using the intuition developed by deep and significant meditation to receive and follow Their Guidance provided to and through your very own mind and heart.

Take stock of your life this instant!!  Have you subtly slipped away from your Connection with the Real?  Don't let the ego befuddle and befool you with rationalizations and justifications!  Be honest with yourself!  If you have (and sadly, I do perceive this is true for most), no requirement to guilt-trip or berate yourself! (Another ploy of the ego to keep you down and discouraged.)  Just CHOOSE AGAIN.  Choose the activities, association, and ENVIRONMENT that will keep you KEEPING ON!  Recalling Den's statement in the training, "The Dark side isn't stronger...it's just EASIER." 

One very difficult situation is close association with someone who lacks your life direction or deep commitment to Spiritual Goals and Values.  You will be very challenged in your attempts to keep up your frequency if you are in daily association with someone who does not share it.  If you are married and choosing to fulfill that vow this is a tough one...you must be extremely vigilant.  You MUST choose other associations and activities that will keep you Awake and Inspired.  If you are not...I strongly suggest you consider whether this primary relationship is worth your loss of "heaven".  Of course I do not mean this in the traditional sense.  I do not subscribe to the idea of 'heaven' in that way...or the concept of hell at all!  I am speaking of the loss of the most esteemed and blissful Higher Realms of existence.  You will not be transitioning to such if you waste your earthly sojourn with involvement in the traditional pastimes and associations of the asleep masses.  Sorry...that's just how it works.  God MUST be FIRST...and you must be willing to make that choice DAILY!

Nearly every person who reads this blog has had a profound Awakening experience when they have taken Source Journey.  Some of you that did not have still kept expanding your Consciousness through daily meditation and Spiritual reading and activities.  My heart is saddened when I watch you make choices that put you back to sleep.  You ARE GREAT!!!  You are Sons and Daughters of the ONE and as such you are privy to the ONE'S Omnipresence, Omnipotence, and Omniscience.  Yet, you MUST make the choices to uncover your Magnificence!

If you have been subtly slipping away from your Spiritual focus and goals, STOP.  CHOOSE NOW your Highest Choices in activity and environment MOMENT BY MOMENT BY MOMENT!

Loving you always, k

Attaching more to the ONE

Good Morning!

Just out of my med and it was a GOOD one!  Two things I am choosing to relate today.  First....the more you CONNECT with the ONE, the easier it is to Remember and KEEP Connecting.  I have mentioned the dual magnetic force here.  We are under the influence of two gigantic forces...one pulling us out to the Fraud world, and one drawing us back HOME.  It's really pretty simple.  The more we make choices that put us closer to the force of the magnetic pull INWARD and UPWARD, the stronger that pull becomes.  We are simply getting closer to the Center of that pull!  So, lately I have been doing much better Kriyas, which is creating a much stronger magnet in my spine.  After meditation, I notice my Consciousness is holding on to Awareness of the One for a much greater amount of time.  Yesterday, I was doing mental mantra (repetition of the Lord's Name or Divine phrases) while shopping at Trader Joe's.  I just don't remember ever doing that before.  When I was waiting for a shop attendant at the lamp store, I turned a little away from her and got in 6 kriyas.  btw...folks don't understand WHY, but they are unaccountably drawn to you when you become more spiritually magnetic.  They treat you better and go out of their way to assist you.  Sweet.

So you get it, right?  It gets EASIER and EASIER to make your Highest Choice.  You REMEMBER to do your 6 kriyas throughout the day, say Grace before meals, meditate early enough to make it good, and sit up straight in your chair.  When you are leaning toward the magnetic pull of the fraud world EVERYTHING IS PULLING TEETH!!  It's TOUGH to get over your innate restlessness to actually sit down and meditate.  Since you are not truly satisfying yourself INSIDE, (more) sex, excessive sugar/flesh/starches in your diet, TV/movies/funky reading call even louder saying THEY can take the pain away.  Ha!  Go ahead and try it....like you have for the last zillion lifetimes.  Temporary fixes at best...total bust at worse, you can ONLY find that lasting Peace by Attaching yourself once again to your TRUE SOURCE.

That's the second thing I am choosing to speak about.  My Teacher said that the ego was the soul attached to the senses...the Fraud world, is how I like to put it.  So....our job is to detach our grimy little fingers from all these sense toys and grab on to THE ONE, good and tight.  THE ONE....the TOTAL SOURCE OF LOVE AND ALL GOOD.  Does this make obvious sense that we would be fully HAPPY if we were FULLY ATTACHED to THIS???  Folks, this isn't rocket science.  It comes down to this utterly simple (not necessarily easy) choice.  Does what we are choosing to do IN EACH MOMENT attach us more to the Fraud world/senses....or does it detach us from that and increase our attachment to the SOURCE...THE ONE?  

The more I attach myself to THE ONE, the happier I am and the more likely I will keep choosing that Happiness.  I now look at my day and schedule my spiritual activities FIRST...and the  mundane stuff morphs around it.  My frequency keeps going up as I do this...so the right choice becomes easier and easier to make.  The INWARD magnetic pull is gaining ascendancy and the struggle between the REAL and the Unreal is lessening. 

Those of you who tell me you are struggling, give a listen.  Make your HIGHEST CHOICE in the use of your time, in your sense-world choices, in your ENVIRONMENT, for ONE WEEK.  I GUARANTEE in ONE WEEK you will not only be HAPPIER,  you will find the magnetic pull has switched and you are much more naturally and easily choosing to do the right thing...which is the thing that gives you LASTING Happiness.   Attach yourself more and more to THE ONE, and you and your life will be PERMEATED with THE ONE'S Happiness, Peace. and Joy!!  You BECOME what you associate with, what you focus on, and what you Choose.  Isn't it time to Choose what truly brings you HAPPINESS? 

Loving you always, k

Sacrificing Dumbness!

Good Evening!

My intuition kept calling me up to Inshallah...and it was RIGHT ON!!  We got there late Saturday night AND I had a wonderful morning med in the training room both Sunday and Monday.  The vibes in there just don't quit!!  Too many of you have met the Great Ones in the training room during Connections and Journey Saturday's mergings and Their frequency remains on and on.  Idyllwild is so beautiful this time of year and there has been enough rain & snow to see some lingering GREEN.  The peace was tangible in those mountains, both inside and outside.

I chilled and studied my Lessons... Taj and I even snuck in a nap or two.  I came home replenished and satisfied.  I completed June Training recruitment calls on the ride home so I had the freedom to make my highest choice this Monday night.  What was it?  For the first time in the 32 years I've lived here, I mozied down to the SRF Temple Lesson Study.  My only regret...I am kicking myself that I have missed this the last 3 decades!!

They begin with silent meditation for an hour with a short chanting after 30 minutes.  Lesson study commences with reading a paragraph of a Lesson and then sitting in silence to meditate on what was read.  I think some people may silently reread the paragraph, but I chose to meditate.  Somewhere in the middle they stop and just meditate some extra time.  This is so mellow they only get through a couple of pages of the Lesson...and then meditate again!  It was just like the scripture study Yogananda mentions in the Autobiography of a Yogi.   A few people gather to study the scriptures.  A passage is read and then all meditate for a time.  One truly can assimilate the meaning much more deeply...into the very atoms or cells, I think He said.

I am considering going each night they have something going on at the Temple.  They study scriptures 3 nights a week which always includes the preceding hour of meditation, have longer meditations on others.  As Den said...they set it all up for you...you just have to show up and get you butt in the chair!!

I was speaking to my daughter today.  I was saying it is getting clearer and clearer that my happiness can only be found within.  All the outward push and show does not provide lasting contentment.  I am looking both inside myself and also at external activities and collectives that provide support for my inner journey.  I used to view these folks that show up night after night as people with incredible self-discipline and the ability to truly sacrifice all the worldly offerings on the altar of their spiritual quest.  Now, I am beginning to understand they go because they are addicted to the joy their focus in providing.  True joy that lasts.

Humans are all the same.  They are driven by their desire for happiness.  People strive and push themselves for money, fame, sex/relationship because they are seeking Happiness.  We each have experienced the truth that these things DO NOT provide LASTING Happiness.  These folks who go to these Temple activities are  still going year after year because they are finding Lasting Happiness in the support their showing up offers to their  Spiritual life.  Just because they "get" it, and we don't (in the past) doesn't mean they have sacrificed anything but their dumbness!

Ha!  At the moment I am the one who feels dumb, dumb, dumb for passing up such wonderful opportunities over the years.

Examine how you spend your free time.  Is it offering you the Lasting Happiness you crave?  If not, re-work your schedule and do those things that will give you support and enthusiasm for discovering your True Self of Ever-lasting Bliss!

Learning along with you! k

Full Metal Jacket

Good Morning!

Yesterday I did my 6 hour meditation with Bobbi.  I came out fit as a fiddle and indelibly happy, as is always the case when one spends that must time with the ONE. I had the inspiration to phone someone regarding a debt owed to me.  Unbeknownst to me, they were harboring a list of resentments, which were presented in anger and accusation.  In my lifetime, my response yesterday, was singular.  I experienced zero reaction or defensiveness.  The verbal bullets never made their mark even though the tidal way must've been heading my way for nearly an hour.  It was if I was wearing a full metal jacket and I was completely unperturbed and unscathed. 

I realized the ONE had set this timing up for at least two reasons.  Certainly it was a demonstration of the power of attunement with Divine Good.  It also was a very loving gesture...as I can only imagine the pain of reaction had I not been so perfectly prepared.  I tell you...this amazing experience makes me desire to do Six hours EVERY day!  I am not there yet, but wow...just to have the ability to avoid any onslaught of negativity is certainly hugely appealing.

I saw something else very clearly.  Each person has their perception of reality based on their own personal history.  The imprint of their past choices and experiences forms the basis of their perceived reality.  It appears very black and white to some folks...as this is what they "see" so it must be "true".  If they have had very painful experiences based on very traumatic and difficult choices, even some before birth, it is likely that they have a very strong predilection to see the worst in what is.  Because of their own wounds and hurts, they are likely to view others as wounding or intending to hurt.  They will malign and impugn negative intentions or motives.  This does not make them "wrong".  Coming from the dark places they have survived, this is how life really IS for them.  They magnetize and create it, they live in it, and it is sad but true, for them.

My Teacher said conditions are essentially "neutral".  It is we who give the good or bad value to them.  It is from our innate mindset and imprint that these judgments are made.  Yesterday I saw this in stark definition.  Some of the things said were so beyond my ability to conceive, I did chuckle a couple of times.  On some level it struck me as amusing.  This is truly a play here and it is farcical that we take it so seriously!

I really don't know why, unless it's based on my lifelong connection to God, but I am an optimist.  I generally see the glass as half-full and feel things WILL work out for the best.  I don't worry a whole lot, and I rarely think of the possible bad things that COULD happen.

I believe we each can change our "imprint"...our innate way of holding our experiences in this world.  It's an inside job...and no one else can really do it for us.  They can give us circumstances and tools...but ultimately, we must be willing to give up our view of what we think is "right" to embrace something new which will be foreign to us at the onset...yet much more conducive to our personal happiness over time.

Yesterday, I experienced someone else's "right" that was misery-making.  I observed it...I did not try to make them "wrong".  That's how they see the world.  They have the choice, free choice, to see it as they choose.  It is neither my responsibility nor my privilege to change that.  It IS my responsibility and my choice to be at peace with it...and to continue to choose my happiness.  That's exactly what I did.  Because of the Grace of long meditation, I had the Conscious Awareness to see things clearly.  My ego had no chance to jump in and take ownership of feelings and drama that wasn't mine.  It did not have the support to try to make things "right", or to defend it's position.

I listened.  I examined the input for whatever could make me a better person.  I stayed calm, centered, and I believe, loving.  There was not a lot I could say or do, but I was Present.

I am deeply grateful for this experience.  I know I never have to be "right" again.  I can allow others to have the "right" they choose to have...and keep my own peace.  For once, I deeply understood the parable Den tells of the Buddha in the training.  The neighbor comes to him and berates him angrily.  He listens.  He doesn't respond.  The neighbor leaves.  His disciples cannot understand why he didn't defend himself or explain.  He responds, "The man offered me an gift.  I chose not to accept it."

Identification with the Soul instead of the ego allows this great freedom.  We can observe ANY situation with even-mindedness and peace, and extract from it what we deem useful.  We don't have to jump in the fray...we don't have to explain or change anything...we just have to be Present.

Amazing, isn't it? 

Loving you in the ONE, k

Cutting to the chase

Good Morning,

Something singular just happened...twice. The blog I was composng was erased from my screen.  I'm not sure this has ever happened before...and if it did, it was years ago.  Obviously, I won't say what I was going to...and in summary, this is what I WILL share.

1.  If you have Kriya Yoga, I suggest you deeply review the Kriya Yoga Lessons.  I have been an initiate for nearly 4 decades and I was not getting near the results this technique can offer.  I was not practicing with the exactness and depth required, although my quantity was there.

2.  If you are preparing to receive Kriya Yoga Initiation in the next several months, DON'T LET ANYTHING GET IN YOUR WAY!

3.  If you have a soul connection with Jesus Christ, or think you may deeply resonate with any of the other 5 Self-Realization Fellowship Gurus, definitely explore the possbility of receiving Kriya Initiation.

What is happening to me in my meditations is way beyond anything I could've expected, consistently, and it ALL relates to the much deeper level that I am practicing Kriya Yoga.

May each of you discover the best spiritual practice and path for YOU!  I am so deeply grateful for what has been given to me on my path.  I do believe Oneness with God is available to me this lifetime.  I have the consummate tool...I just have to use it correctly, deeply, and well!

Loving you...and choosing to live with greater Interiorization and Consciousness.
k

Inner Smile

Good Sunday!

When I randomly say to myself, often out-loud, "I'm happy", I am aware that it is totally the product of my interior life.  My meditations have been consistently good of late, and I feel my sense of well-being growing with each passing day.  Truly...it IS an inside job.

I executed my plan last night and attended a charity function with my posse of Connected IV folks.  Each of us actually meditated during the event, at various times, as other attendees meandered around oblivious.  We reminded one another to stay in CCC by tapping each other's spiritual eye when necessary.  We were prepared: we rode to and from the event listening to Sri Yukteswar's account of Hiranaloka in the Autobiography of a Yogi. 

I noticed I experienced Kriya yoga as being FAR more entertaining and pleasant than any of the external offerings.  Music, dancing, food (well...the dessert trays gave us all some distraction problems) and the baubles and experiences given at auction paled in comparison.  I challenge you to put meditation right in the middle of some of all that and see what YOU think.  Most of it's getting pretty boring...and the bliss of meditation is ever-new.

I studied my Kriya Lessons again at lunch...and I marvel at how much I never "got" before.  I am now wondering if I even ever read them!  Could I really have overlooked this much?  Someone tried to comment on something from the newspaper and I just halted that with "Nothing in there could be as good as this!"  I truly think we don't take the time to compare...or bring the spiritual right into the midst of the material...or we would make Higher Choices more frequently.  Habitual, robotic behavior is leading us around by our noses.  In fact, it's rather like we have a nose-ring, and are habit-slaves to our senses and our histories.  Is it reasonable to believe we keep doing the same unsatisfying behaviors over and over...expecting some kind of different, delicious results?  Isn't that called insanity...doing the same and expecting new results?

I spoke to Dennis about attending the 2 hour Sunday night med at the Temple.  It just sounds GOOD...better than any of the other options.  I realize putting habits like that into play will definitely change our lives long-term.  I know a couple who goes every Sunday night and have been for YEARS.  Just think...their wisest choice EACH SUNDAY NIGHT for DECADES.  That will sure fly nicely when they do their life review at incarnation end.

My thought today is to wedge these changes in, small and large, wherever I can.  It's a fair test to see if I enjoy my spiritual pursuits more than the same ol', same ol'.  I just don't believe the fraud world has got the same wool-pulled-over-my-eyes magic.   Stacked next to sense indulgence of any nature, this Inner Smile beats everything!

Loving you! k

Something's happening here....

Good Evening...

O.K.  So I'm on a roll...and I know full well it's up to ME how long it lasts.  I also know that my ego will do all it can to body-block it.

I have been reviewing my Kriya technique lessons and it's making a difference.  If you have ANY meditation technique lessons, I suggest you review them and see what I mean.  If you don't have any technique lessons....well....I suggest you get some!

I started my med later than usual and I got so into it the time disappeared.  I began my evening med much earlier than usual because I was still in a higher frequency and was making my highest choice.  Starting early meant I was not sleepy and again, I had a fantastic meditation.

Right now I am looking forward to the 3 hour temple med tomorrow morning and have already set in motion plans to do my full evening sadhana early and before my evening commitments Saturday night. 

When in the influence of higher frequency, these decisions are natural and made with ease and grace.  I considered how my Guru's father use to come home from the office and practice hours of Kriya yoga as his recreation!!  It sounded so austere when considered from my normal consciousness...yet, experiencing the bliss of Kriya as I did tonight, it sounds like a perfectly wise choice.  He didn't do it because it was a duty...he did it BECAUSE IT FELT BETTER THAN ANY OTHER OPTION.

When we evaluate the choices of the saints they seem so self-disciplined and pleasure-deprived.  That's because we are so deeply blinded by the fraud world we fail to notice they are making choices that KEEP THEM IN BLISS! 

I notice how differently I use my time when I am entrained in higher consciousness.  I took my Kriya lessons to lunch with me and studied them between bites.  I found them mesmerizing.  My mind has been frequently returning to Divinely inspired songs or centering mantras.  The point is...when we reach a certain level or frequency we are naturally drawn to our higher choice and to the REAL.  It is not a struggle or a duty...it is our natural state and we are at HOME in it. 

We struggle and squirm because often we are still fighting the pull of maya delusion.  We are half-in and half-out and it's difficult to disentangle ourselves.  When we analyze our life and the path ahead from this "mortal" viewpoint it appears very long and very steep.  The ego uses this vantage point to discourage and belittle us.

If we can just place more attention and more time into the inner than the outer...even for a bit...the pendulum swings and the Good choices become easier to make and life is ease and grace.

I have been here before and I remember that the ego will marshall it's forces against my sublime state.  It has often attacked my physicality knowing if I am choosing health I have a more difficult time maintaining optimum sadhana.  It may put tempting fraud-world choices in my view.  Knowing this, I have specifically chosen to keep company with those I know share my desire for Freedom.  I have specifically requested we, as a band, keep attention at the Spiritual Eye in CCC (Constant Conscious Connection.)  I am seeing any fraud-world situations as opportunities to strengthen my habit of staying in Connection while interacting with the mundane or distracting.

My suggestion to you is to keep fighting the outward flow...you never know how close you may be to the tipping point...when flowing inward to the Real is ease and grace.  And when you are in that place, the fraud world seems superficial and unsatisfying.  Meditation becomes delicious and you see soul underneath ego around you. 

Yes, something is happening here...And I like it.

Loving you, k

Morphing my meditation UP

Good Morning!

Choosing to reflect today on meditation.  During Level IV we each have the tremendous support of the whole group.  We meditate together for 3 hours each morning and then again towards evening for an hour and a half.  The ego doesn't have much leeway...no maneuvering room, really.  We just all do this...no matter how we feel emotionally, physically, spiritually...the butt is in the chair!!

Returning to the States late on Friday eve, still all the local Holy Land IV's showed up at the 3 hour Sat. morning temple med.  Again...phenomenal group support.  When my ego realized it was again totally on it's own (Den and I have different schedules so rarely do I have 3 hours of his company and support) it started hedging.  It's been 2 and a half years of committed 4 hours a day and yet...Whining!!  I felt so unready to deal with this...after all of this time!!!  My God....I began my path in 1970 and I STILL have to psyche myself into my practice.  It STILL resonates "duty" instead of "delight".  Truly ridiculous as I almost always reach that place of sweet stillness and peace...and REMEMBER it is SO MUCH better than ANYTHING the world can offer!

I have been working with something I read in one of Yogananda's advanced lessons.  Pranayama is a method by which we can consciously control our life-force...to ultimately be able to switch off at will the five sense "telephones." He spoke of pratyhara, or the state of the mind when it is disconnected from the five sense "telephones".  It "...yields freedom of the mind from physical sensations; it is the power of mental interiorization, or withdrawal of the mind from the senses".  He says that "those who practice pranayama or any other method of breath and life-energy control without bearing in mind the purpose for which they are practicing do not attain pratyahara.  Patanjali states that the purpose of pranayama must be pratyahara, or making the mind return within."

As I am doing my meditation techniques now, I remind myself of their purpose...it is to interiorize my mind and draw me into the spine.  This has really assisted me to concentrate much better.  When I find myself thinking, I remind myself this will NOT interiorize my mind.  I return to technique practice which will! 

Today I realized something else with a jolt.  I occasionally focus on a celebrity couple...it's a pastime I have allowed myself now and then.  Her father is a devotee of my same spiritual path and I fantasize these 2 mega-influential people will "WAKE UP".  I suddenly became aware that I draw onto myself that upon which I focus.  If I concentrate on my Spiritual Teachers, I draw to me Their extraordinary attributes and frequency.  When I focus on this worldly couple, I draw the dissension and disharmony they are currently experiencing in their relationship!  Needless to say, I discontinued that train of thought immediately.  I realize it is most unwise to concentrate on the foibles, flaws, or failures of anyone!!  By so doing, I invite those disturbing qualities and outcomes right into my inner self!!  I never considered avoiding gossip or harping on others as self-protection...yet assuredly, it is!!

As I became more disciplined today, concentrating on attaining interiorization or pratyahara, I felt the keen demand of my one-pointedness.  I suddenly felt quite overwhelmed at the prospect of hours of this intensity.  I called to my Teachers for assistance.  IMMEDIATELY I could feel Them, 2 strong, giant, stalwart Warriors guarding my back.  I ALWAYS have such an arsenal of Good...I just must remember to Call Them forth!  Keeping Company with Them means I keep company with Their frequency, Their focus, Their phenomenal abilities and development.  I am never alone or stranded...never abandoned, or forgotten.  I just must REMEMBER to ask for Their assistance!

Because of my one-pointedness the meditation flowed easily and what had been a plan to bolt at the 3 hour mark morphed into staying over, as it often does.  I sat there with the Fruits...the peace and poise and sweet interiorization.  Suddenly my "to do" list seemed so distant and relatively minor.  The purpose of my life is not relentless doing...it is rather, relentless REMEMBERING!

Writing the blog moved from a pack of many "to-dos" to the top of the list.  Surely nothing is more important than speaking with you about our spiritual quest...the TRUE purpose of our lives!

Loving you always! k                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Core IV

Good Morning!!

We are back from Holy Land Level IV and I finally have experienced a full night's sleep...first time in weeks actually.  Having Journey/Super/IV back-to-back, then no email access when traveling equaled an extreme paucity of blogs!  So much has happened, I am choosing to know where to begin...

God and my Teachers informed me from the beginning, way back before our research trip in September, that this training was completely in Their capable hands.  We had no itinerary when arriving in Israel, and They led us around like sheep, developing the most amazing opportunities for the subsequent training.  They took over in the same way during the training itself, and it was flawless!  Dennis and I have simply never experienced anything quite like that in a training.  Obviously, the finest IV we have ever had...and with such Ease and Grace!

Looking back, it is clear now that this training produced the birth of a CORE group of folks we will be working with, and growing with, for the rest of our lives!  All the puzzle pieces of the work we have done over the years with Source Seminars fell into place...and we clearly realized it had ALL been leading to this defining moment!  Joy was tumbling through me in vast waves as I saw that something begun before I was born was finally manifest on the physical plane of Earth.

We know there are a few more to come, and a second tier of younger Sourcerers in several years, yet we know the portal to IV will be largely closing with IV 2010.  The group is progressing so rapidly, and especially considering some very unique work we will be doing next year with them, it would be very difficult to jump in after that and meld well.  This CORE group will be mentors to a 2nd group which will follow some years ahead.

I have the sense that this creation of a Core group of people, committed to their own and one another's Realization THIS LIFETIME, is unusual and "experimental".  It is as if the Great Ones are seeing if a whole "block" of folks can make the Jump together.  We are excited for the chance and the challenge and absolutely committed.

Something came up during the training which demonstrated that we have not always been as clear as necessary about what IV really is.  With permission and anonymity, I choose to share one participant's experience with the intention of creating a clearer picture of IV's intent and purpose.  This was written to another Source group of which they are a part.

"So basically I had the most profound experience of my life in
Jerusalem. Hands Down. For a frame of reference, Level IV is different then the other Source seminars. The theme of this seminar is advancing spiritually and committing to doing whatever it takes to get liberated this lifetime. I believed, intellectually, in the concept of advancing so much in a lifetime that I could end my cycle of reincarnation.  However, I thought of it the way I think about having kids. "Yeah that will happen someday when I am older." However, I didn't really grok (as some people like to say) this idea of liberation, or being one with the infinite.

That is, until the day I visited the Western Wall, or the Wailing Wall, which is the most holy site for the Jews. It is said that "The Divine Presence Rests Upon the Wall." I can verify this. I wrote a prayer on a tiny piece of paper to stick into a chink in the wall per the custom. I wrote: Oh My Divine! Please grant me the wish of being liberated; of resting with you in this very lifetime.  You have my heart, my body, my soul.

When I got to the wall, women were whispering prayers into the crack of the stones. They were crying, wailing if you will, into the prayer books. They were reciting things in another language; things that I had no context of.  So I touched the wall, lightly at first, like when you pet a frightened dog. I whispered a prayer. The only one that felt permissible. The one that I wrote on a tiny piece of paper. (the only formal prayers I knew were Catholic and that just seemed inappropriate). Softly at first, but with each repetition, my feelings got stronger. By the end of my allotted time at the wall, about an hour, I was clutching the wall, and sobbing just like each of the other women there.

Some of you at Super, felt the prenatal pain of when you were first separate from the Infinite. I have never experienced this, and never expected to. However, at the wall, through my entire body, mind, and spirit I felt that I was touching the Divine Presence.  I felt like I was finally able to touch God again and to feel Him in my arms. Suddenly I felt the pain of being apart from Him. It was so strong that I felt like I had to do everything in my power to be with Him again as quickly as possible. Every spare moment I had in Jerusalem (trust me there weren't too many) I was at the Wall. Touching, Caressing, Whispering love ballads to my Beloved.

So here I am, back in the Fraud World. One of my main intentions of Level IV was to not lose the connection I knew I would develop during the seminar. Even a few days after the Super my ego started winning, telling me it was OK just to do my Kriyas in bed half asleep. I so didn't choose to get back to that place. Amazing how God answered my prayers. How can you fall back to sleep when you have such an important quest? When you are in love with someone what wouldn't you do to be with that person? This is how I feel. How can my ego ever win?  It is so screwed and it knows it. Each time I am challenged with temptation I ask myself, "Do I love this more or God more? Is this worth being delayed from my ultimate goal?" I am not even thinking of being liberated at the end of my life anymore. I am seriously thinking of how quickly I can attain Nirvikalpa Samadhi. If you don't know what that is click on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nirvikalpa

Five years? Ten? Why would you wait 50 years to be with your True Love, when you could be with them in this moment? My spirituality has gone from walking the meandering path filled with side trips and detours, to the shortcut leading to a rocket-ship waiting to take me Home. My life has finally found the direction it was seeking. I choose to use my single minded focus to go Home. This might sound a bit intense to some, but after hugging God, what choice do I have?"

So there you have it...that's what IV is all about.  I am writing this today as the Reality of this seminal element of my Life's Purpose is virtually singing within me.  I always share with you what's happening with me...and this is definitely what's captured my Heart and Awareness, in the moment.

Loving you always, k