Good Morning!
Yesterday I did my 6 hour meditation with Bobbi. I came out fit as a fiddle and indelibly happy, as is always the case when one spends that must time with the ONE. I had the inspiration to phone someone regarding a debt owed to me. Unbeknownst to me, they were harboring a list of resentments, which were presented in anger and accusation. In my lifetime, my response yesterday, was singular. I experienced zero reaction or defensiveness. The verbal bullets never made their mark even though the tidal way must've been heading my way for nearly an hour. It was if I was wearing a full metal jacket and I was completely unperturbed and unscathed.
I realized the ONE had set this timing up for at least two reasons. Certainly it was a demonstration of the power of attunement with Divine Good. It also was a very loving gesture...as I can only imagine the pain of reaction had I not been so perfectly prepared. I tell you...this amazing experience makes me desire to do Six hours EVERY day! I am not there yet, but wow...just to have the ability to avoid any onslaught of negativity is certainly hugely appealing.
I saw something else very clearly. Each person has their perception of reality based on their own personal history. The imprint of their past choices and experiences forms the basis of their perceived reality. It appears very black and white to some folks...as this is what they "see" so it must be "true". If they have had very painful experiences based on very traumatic and difficult choices, even some before birth, it is likely that they have a very strong predilection to see the worst in what is. Because of their own wounds and hurts, they are likely to view others as wounding or intending to hurt. They will malign and impugn negative intentions or motives. This does not make them "wrong". Coming from the dark places they have survived, this is how life really IS for them. They magnetize and create it, they live in it, and it is sad but true, for them.
My Teacher said conditions are essentially "neutral". It is we who give the good or bad value to them. It is from our innate mindset and imprint that these judgments are made. Yesterday I saw this in stark definition. Some of the things said were so beyond my ability to conceive, I did chuckle a couple of times. On some level it struck me as amusing. This is truly a play here and it is farcical that we take it so seriously!
I really don't know why, unless it's based on my lifelong connection to God, but I am an optimist. I generally see the glass as half-full and feel things WILL work out for the best. I don't worry a whole lot, and I rarely think of the possible bad things that COULD happen.
I believe we each can change our "imprint"...our innate way of holding our experiences in this world. It's an inside job...and no one else can really do it for us. They can give us circumstances and tools...but ultimately, we must be willing to give up our view of what we think is "right" to embrace something new which will be foreign to us at the onset...yet much more conducive to our personal happiness over time.
Yesterday, I experienced someone else's "right" that was misery-making. I observed it...I did not try to make them "wrong". That's how they see the world. They have the choice, free choice, to see it as they choose. It is neither my responsibility nor my privilege to change that. It IS my responsibility and my choice to be at peace with it...and to continue to choose my happiness. That's exactly what I did. Because of the Grace of long meditation, I had the Conscious Awareness to see things clearly. My ego had no chance to jump in and take ownership of feelings and drama that wasn't mine. It did not have the support to try to make things "right", or to defend it's position.
I listened. I examined the input for whatever could make me a better person. I stayed calm, centered, and I believe, loving. There was not a lot I could say or do, but I was Present.
I am deeply grateful for this experience. I know I never have to be "right" again. I can allow others to have the "right" they choose to have...and keep my own peace. For once, I deeply understood the parable Den tells of the Buddha in the training. The neighbor comes to him and berates him angrily. He listens. He doesn't respond. The neighbor leaves. His disciples cannot understand why he didn't defend himself or explain. He responds, "The man offered me an gift. I chose not to accept it."
Identification with the Soul instead of the ego allows this great freedom. We can observe ANY situation with even-mindedness and peace, and extract from it what we deem useful. We don't have to jump in the fray...we don't have to explain or change anything...we just have to be Present.
Amazing, isn't it?
Loving you in the ONE, k
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