Source Seminars

It's the FREQUENCY, stupid!

Good Morning!

Years ago, when Clinton was running his first presidential campaign, his team wrote up on the blackboard at an early organizational meeting: It's the ECONOMY, stupid!  We all know the result...he won BIG.

This morning I awoke with a smile on my face, a chant running in my head, and all in all feeling GREAT!  I can't say that's been the consistent case of late.  I know why!

Yesterday, though in bed late the night before, I got up, meditated some, went to Mass, went to Temple and meditated more, went to Sunday Service, went to the Meditation Gardens and my Teacher's holy study and bedroom in the Hermitage, and then went back to the Temple for the Gita Study and meditation.  No duh I awoke HAPPY....the High Frequency generated by ALL of those choices put me in the Groove...the Groove of the Divine Flow.

When we make our Highest Choice we also insure our HAPPINESS.  It's just that SIMPLE.  There's no rocket science involved here folks....just DISCIPLINE AND WISDOM!!  Why do we go down the same sorry, pot-hole filled road when we already KNOW it leads to unfulfillment at best, and misery at worst?

There are a few culprits.  One of the most powerful is HABIT.  We are robotic, on auto pilot, much of the time.  Habit's powerful accomplice is LACK OF AWARENESS. We fail to stop and THINK...only a moment would suffice.  We then would REMEMBER that when we did the unconscious behavior, made the lower frequency choice the last time AND EVERY PRECEDING TIME, it did NOT bring us HAPPINESS. 

Then, even if we bring our Awareness in, we often lack the SELF-DISCIPLINE to do the right thing...make the Higher choice.  Why?  Because we allow EGO to KEEP the reins of control us!!  We don't give over the control of our minds, hearts, and lives to King Soul!

I am suggesting the very next time, and every time you must make a choice, pause and go through this check list.
1.  Am I on auto-pilot, just doing what I always do, HABITUALLY?
2.  Am I AWARE?  Am I REMEMBERING what happened last time I made this choice?
3.  Am I invoking my SELF-DISCIPLINE?
4.  Am I allowing EGO to run my life...STILL?  Or did KING SOUL wrest those reins right out of Ego's grimy hands, and take back the chariot of my life?

So here's a clear choice for you!  (Some of you already made this choice, so it doesn't apply.)  I suggest you subscribe to these blogs.
Why?  Because you will automatically get these soul reminders in your in-box when I finally DO write one!  Now...why wouldn't you?
Habit...you didn't in the past.  Lack of awareness...you aren't even aware if you miss one.  Self-discipline...too lazy to go to the Source site and just fill in the subscription, then click on the confirming link.
And most likely of all....your EGO doesn't NOT choose you to do this.  It says, you don't need to.  You don't don't want those soul reminders coming in automatically.  They may weaken it's grip on you!

I too will make a powerful choice today.  I am canceling my Face Book.  I will post the FINAL blog reminder on it...and then I am out.  The frequency there truly doesn't serve me and I know it.  So...I know a number of you have been depending on my FB reminders...this is the last time you will have that assist to your Soul Awareness.  Pick up on it!!
Loving you ALWAYS, k

As a MIND thinketh...

Inshallah

Good Morning!

The other early morning I awoke and for some reason began playing out worrisome scenarios in my mind.  I watched my anxiety increase as the thoughts marched on.  "My word," I considered, "I am CREATING this unpleasant state of being by my train of thought!"  Immediately I began dwelling on something that ALWAYS brings me joy...the visage of my Master.  Again, I immediately felt the loathsome energy move into my heart and become light.  I saw how I could play my mind like a keyboard...moving up and down the scale of emotion and feeling.

Try this very same thought sequence, unpleasant than pleasant, and I guarantee the same results..regardless of where you begin.  Of course, if you have been heavily investing in negative thought, it may take a bit longer to move the energy up with lighter, happier thinking and still....it WILL happen!

Look around and begin noticing the mental states of those with whom you interact.  If their penchant is cup half-empty, they will reveal that very habit on their unsmiling faces!  If they are optimists...they will often sport a smile and feel much nicer to be around as well.

It IS WE who create our happy or sad lives by our thoughts and perceptions.  As my Master was wont to say, "Conditions are essentially neutral."  He said we were the ones that put the judgment...negative or positive..upon our life situations and events.  If we can write the story, comedy or tragedy, why not begin RE-writing TODAY!  Even when things are not as we would have chosen them...we can examine the situation for the good in the difference!

Today I was out on the trail and I noticed a garden statue had been put in the incorrect place.  As I moved it, I realized the misplacement had shown the perfect spot for the new statue of St Anthony I had just brought up to Inshallah.  I would not have thought of it if the garden angel had not been mistakenly put there.  How often is that the case?  That though things are not as expected, or 'as they have always been', the change or even the error has opened up vistas for new creativity and even genius to flow through!

If we MAKE UP OUR MINDS to see the good in each turn of events, we WILL see it!!  The old silver lining behind every cloud adage is TRUE!  It is up to us to be aware enough, and humble enough, to perceive it!  Just because it didn't turn out the way WE chose it to be does NOT mean it won't actually turn out BETTER in the larger perspective!  We must have the humility to allow God and the Great Ones to maneuver around our lives, setting things in even better order than we could!  Indeed, it is also our Higher Selves that have a hand in all this...for it is only our egos that judge, and see limitation, in what IS. 

It is time this Higher, Finer part of ourselves takes the reins and brings our minds under Benevolent Control.  We CAN have the happy lives we seek....we just must allow our thoughts to have the soul's penchant for Happiness...not the ego's penchant for "what's wrong!"

I have noticed myself laughing at myself more lately...it IS comical what the ego tries to get away with.  From this moment I am committing to see WHAT'S RIGHT about the way things are manifesting...to view each 'surprise' as my next opportunity to move closer to God.  For as surely as I do trust GOD, as surely I must trust the way GOD is presenting this movie-life to me.

Yes...as my MIND thinketh...and I am sculpting my mind to see it's GOOD....GOD...EVERYWHERE!

Loving you always, k

When you're being "played"

Good Evening!

We saw an incredible video of a talk by Brother Anandamoy, perhaps one of the most widely respected SRF Ministers.  One comment in particular struck a strong cord with me.  He said that we were constantly being "tested" and the purpose of these 'tests' was to lead us closer to God.  He said if we had the proper attitude toward the situation and were surrendered and open, we "passed the test".  If not...if we resisted, in other words, we failed...and we would have to face that same 'test' albeit in new circumstances, again and again, until we "passed that test".

I personally don't like the word or perspective of "test".  I choose to use the word a dear grad coined years past, "opportunity".  Still, the impact of this whole perspective and way of holding my life's experiences, has been profound.

Let me illustrate.  Last week we were cleaning the dome, Bobbi and I.  I was washing various cloth items when the handle fell off the glass pitcher I was using to add extra water to the tub.  The pitcher shattered throughout my clothes.  I surveyed the damage and calmly asked Guidance what my best plan was.  I got to pick out the glass I could, and just run the load.  That's what I did and all worked out fairly well.

We unloaded EVERYTHING from the dome into the yard.  Suddenly, and totally unexpectedly, came a very robust downpour.  All was drenched...electrical things, paintings, photos, cloth....ALL.  We hustled as much as could into the dome and valiantly attempted to complete in orderly fashion.  Ha!  With this and the prior laundry incident, I distinctly felt I was getting "played" by my Guru.  He was giving me interesting experiences and seeing if I could retain both my composure AND my sense of humor or at least detachment.

The experience that sealed the deal on this hunch was the last thing that happened that day.  I was DEFINITELY choosing rest...it was late AND I was to rise very early for my long med with Bobbi the next morning.  "I just have to get my Kriyas done in this hour med...and I will hit the sack."
I started in and I GOT THE HICCUPS!  Now, it is IMPOSSIBLE to do one's Kriyas with the hiccups.  Just can't be done.  There was not a lot I could do.  I thought....well, I'll just do them mentally for awhile.  That's what I did...until the hiccup challenge passed.  I laughed and laughed.  I KNEW I was getting played!!  I actually felt quite loved....my Master really had to go out of His way to develop all these interesting experiences so I could stretch my ability to remain even-minded.

My perspective has changed.  Now when there is an unexpected turn of events that is NOT how I would prefer it to be...I KNOW I am getting played.  I chuckle and move on.  Sunday, at the Gita study, I was all set to read.  I was looking forward to my turn as reading out loud is something I really enjoy.  Finally it came round to me and just as I opened my mouth to begin, the leader announced, "That's all for today.  Let's meditate."
Sundari looked at her watch and said, "Mom, why is she stopping early?"
I smiled and said, "Because I am getting played."

Now, in truth, I will tell you I don't ALWAYS succeed.  When it is a very big trigger related to an old and stubborn wound...well, I still can lose it.  Last night at the end of the Lesson study something happened with Dennis that REALLY triggered an old wound.  I just lost it.  Red hot, volcanically lost it.
It wasn't til this morning I realized that was the next step up in the "getting played" scenario.  My Teacher knows I am getting pretty good at the small stuff...He's upping the ante.  When I can remember these major triggers are just my next opportunity to advance toward God, and handle them with grace and a knowing sense of humor, I will be ready for the REALLY BIG SHOW.  O boy....can't wait.

So step back and allow yourself to participate willingly in the Cosmic Comedy.  Sure is a lot more fun that way. 
Go ahead, I say, Play me.....until I am Played ALL THE WAY HOME!

Loving you...playfully, k

Good Decisions Make You HAPPY

 Good Evening,

This is just a quickie as I am actually hoping to inspire you to follow suit!

Yesterday my daughter and I raced home from Disneyland so we could make the meditation and Gita study at the Temple.  We were joined by her dad and Den and it was GREAT!

Den and I chose to stay up VERY LATE last evening to preview a film for Source Movie Night this Saturday.  Since we are hitting the Temple each evening it offers something, we really had to watch it last night.  It was good, uplifting, and had no negative overtones on my Consciousness today.

Tonight my daughter, Den, and I and a dear CORE IV member hit the meditation and Lesson Study.  We had to dash out the last half hour to get to Trader Joe's before it closed.  I was incredibly buoyant...even though I was up til after 2AM last night.  This is VERY unusual.  My "closing" Trader's is not usually this kind of experience at all.   In the past, I was beat and drained if I went there that late.

So....it's all about doing something that is a definite frequency-raiser early in the evening, including my meditation.   I am so Happy right now it's almost absurd, and STILL quite energized.

Folks....make your HIghest Choices...those GOOD DECISIONS... and duplicate what I am feeling.    Whatever it takes to change those old dead-end patterns that result in "tired blood" (isn't that what they used to call it?;-), JUST DO IT!!

If at this very moment, you are not bubbling over with joy, you are not making your Highest Choices.  Trust me, I believe we are actually JOY MACHINES....made in the Image of our Creator who is MADE of EVER NEW JOY!!  If we can just get back to where we started..."Back to the Garden" (of Eden), we WILL Remember.  One choice at a time...the choice that will RAISE your frequency, will ATTACH you to the ONE,  that will CONNECT you with your innate INNER PEACE AND JOY, is all it takes!!

GOOD DECISIONS MAKE YOU HAPPY!!

Haha...Loving you! k

The way the mind works...

Good Evening,

So I've been a good girl this week...gone to EVERY activity at the Temple.  Wow....doing so made me so HAPPY, truly.  I'd do my 3 hours of med in the morning in the dome, and most of the evening Temple activities included at least an hour of meditation or more.  Each night I was meditating with these "old-timers" who were usually quiet, serious, and deep.  What an incredible meditation group!!  When Saturday rolled around, God gave my ego a "bone" and approved my seeing a current movie, Angels and Demons.  Wouldn't recommend it...I came off it feeling unsatisfied and that I had wasted my "treat".

So...tonight was "Movie Night" at the Temple.  It was a video of one of the top monks speaking on a spiritual topic.  My ego was non-stop moaning over that...and Den's joined in.  The vibe was basically  "This is going to be BORING, and no FUN at all!"

I went to Mass which I enjoyed and came home to meditate before the Temple feature.  I was incredibly restless...the worst meditation I'd had in ages.  Why?  Simple...my mind.  It had created such a dismal picture of what that "movie" was going to be like...it was very begrudging and unhappy.  Den's was just the same.  We both thought, " Hardly anybody will go to this...on a Saturday night!!  Ha!"  We nearly bailed...he said he was so sleepy he'd rather go to bed and I was thinking staying home and studying my SRF Lessons sounded a lot better. 

Thank God...I asked Guidance.  It was unequivocal....I MUST go.  I dragged us both down there and walked in.  OMG.  I have NEVER seen the Temple so packed...with so MUCH joyful, expectant, excited energy.  I wondered...what do these people know that I don't?

The video came on and it was ABSOLUTELY MESMERIZING.  Over-the-top fantastic!! Within one minute I knew there was nowhere I'd rather be...nothing I would rather be doing.  This was the Cherry on Top of a great week at the Temple...and God's reward to me for persevering.

What an incredible lesson!!!  I forgot to say that my reaction to the movie flyer was identical to my prior reactions, over the years, to the thought of going to those same Temple activities I had attended  this week.  I did notice that...and it made me pause.  I had been so wrong...this was such a similar judgmental response that I realized it too may well be wrong.  Yep!!

That's how the mind works!  It sandbags things in old familiar ways to keep us stuck.  It nearly robbed me of an amazingly satisfying, uplifting, inspiring experience this evening. 

I'm keeping a better watch out from here on in.  Those old worn out suppositions and robotic behaviors do not reap me fun or happiness.  My mind isn't my friend...it can be my servant if I put it in it's place.  I have made myself immensely happy this week by trying on new spiritual activities that have raised my frequency and kept me moving forward.  I intend to keep making choices that feed my life's fervent goal: God Realization.

If you are less than 100% happy, start observing.  Where is your mind leading you?  Remember the way it works...if you aren't in charge, it will do whatever will keep it in power...and you a slave! 

Loving you in the ONE, k

Subtle Slipping Away

Good Morning!

I have been going to Temple each night something has been offered, as I spoke of a few days ago.  It's comical how each time I reflect " I can't believe I have been missing out on this all these years!"

Last night was no exception.  Our eloquent minister spoke on Spiritual Progress to a Temple only about a third full.  What a pity.  As I sat there truly enjoying his words, and the remarkably silent preceding meditation (and post meditation and healing service as well) I did what Den tells Journey participants NOT to do!  I thought of those that would have so much benefited from being there and hearing of which he spoke.

I thought of someone who had come out of our last Level IV all fired up with Divine Zeal...nothing would get in their way HOME!  In fact, they had subsequently mentioned to me making some of these same choices I had this week.... Weds. night meditation and Thursday night Service.   Now I notice they are no longer present...what happened?

Hopefully each of us have certain opportunities during our busy lives to recharge and recommit.  These may be spiritual retreats or gatherings, private seclusions, or even a Source training.  We usually come off these events with Fresh Awakening and a new commitment to make our Highest Choice for our Freedom in this Lifetime.  If we can but step back and observe, we will see the Fraud world gradually step in and dilute our passion for Truth, and our resolution to remain Awake.  What can we do?

Self-Awareness is the first step, the next is to reach out and catch the draft of anyone in our environment or circle who is Still Connected.  Hopefully we each have someone like that...if not, CHOOSE to cultivate a relationship in whatever way possible with someone perhaps a little a head of you on the Spiritual Quest (at the moment).  They will keep you striving and Remembering.  Notice the choices they are making in use of time and association and quietly begin to follow.  Once you have upleveled your frequency by making your Highest Choice (this can happen quite quickly) you will naturally and intuitively begin to Choose rightly on your own.  Rightly is defined as making the Choices leading to your True and LASTING Happiness.

If you are isolated from such physical beings (and I believe this is often just a choice you have made...there are meditation groups and centers most everywhere) you may Keep Company with the Great Ones through reading Their writings or listening toTheir lectures on CD.  You may also follow the instructions of Swami Sri Yukteswar in The Holy Science.  He defined Keeping Company as keeping the attributes and appearance of said Great One/s in your mind and reflecting upon them.  Keeping Them in your heart and offering them your natural love, attuning yourself with Them constantly, and being One with them in Principle is also part of it.  Most important is affectionately following lamblike, Their Holy Instructions as they are freely and spontaneously given.  If They are not physically present this would entail both deep familiarity with Their writings and talks and ALSO using the intuition developed by deep and significant meditation to receive and follow Their Guidance provided to and through your very own mind and heart.

Take stock of your life this instant!!  Have you subtly slipped away from your Connection with the Real?  Don't let the ego befuddle and befool you with rationalizations and justifications!  Be honest with yourself!  If you have (and sadly, I do perceive this is true for most), no requirement to guilt-trip or berate yourself! (Another ploy of the ego to keep you down and discouraged.)  Just CHOOSE AGAIN.  Choose the activities, association, and ENVIRONMENT that will keep you KEEPING ON!  Recalling Den's statement in the training, "The Dark side isn't stronger...it's just EASIER." 

One very difficult situation is close association with someone who lacks your life direction or deep commitment to Spiritual Goals and Values.  You will be very challenged in your attempts to keep up your frequency if you are in daily association with someone who does not share it.  If you are married and choosing to fulfill that vow this is a tough one...you must be extremely vigilant.  You MUST choose other associations and activities that will keep you Awake and Inspired.  If you are not...I strongly suggest you consider whether this primary relationship is worth your loss of "heaven".  Of course I do not mean this in the traditional sense.  I do not subscribe to the idea of 'heaven' in that way...or the concept of hell at all!  I am speaking of the loss of the most esteemed and blissful Higher Realms of existence.  You will not be transitioning to such if you waste your earthly sojourn with involvement in the traditional pastimes and associations of the asleep masses.  Sorry...that's just how it works.  God MUST be FIRST...and you must be willing to make that choice DAILY!

Nearly every person who reads this blog has had a profound Awakening experience when they have taken Source Journey.  Some of you that did not have still kept expanding your Consciousness through daily meditation and Spiritual reading and activities.  My heart is saddened when I watch you make choices that put you back to sleep.  You ARE GREAT!!!  You are Sons and Daughters of the ONE and as such you are privy to the ONE'S Omnipresence, Omnipotence, and Omniscience.  Yet, you MUST make the choices to uncover your Magnificence!

If you have been subtly slipping away from your Spiritual focus and goals, STOP.  CHOOSE NOW your Highest Choices in activity and environment MOMENT BY MOMENT BY MOMENT!

Loving you always, k

Attaching more to the ONE

Good Morning!

Just out of my med and it was a GOOD one!  Two things I am choosing to relate today.  First....the more you CONNECT with the ONE, the easier it is to Remember and KEEP Connecting.  I have mentioned the dual magnetic force here.  We are under the influence of two gigantic forces...one pulling us out to the Fraud world, and one drawing us back HOME.  It's really pretty simple.  The more we make choices that put us closer to the force of the magnetic pull INWARD and UPWARD, the stronger that pull becomes.  We are simply getting closer to the Center of that pull!  So, lately I have been doing much better Kriyas, which is creating a much stronger magnet in my spine.  After meditation, I notice my Consciousness is holding on to Awareness of the One for a much greater amount of time.  Yesterday, I was doing mental mantra (repetition of the Lord's Name or Divine phrases) while shopping at Trader Joe's.  I just don't remember ever doing that before.  When I was waiting for a shop attendant at the lamp store, I turned a little away from her and got in 6 kriyas.  btw...folks don't understand WHY, but they are unaccountably drawn to you when you become more spiritually magnetic.  They treat you better and go out of their way to assist you.  Sweet.

So you get it, right?  It gets EASIER and EASIER to make your Highest Choice.  You REMEMBER to do your 6 kriyas throughout the day, say Grace before meals, meditate early enough to make it good, and sit up straight in your chair.  When you are leaning toward the magnetic pull of the fraud world EVERYTHING IS PULLING TEETH!!  It's TOUGH to get over your innate restlessness to actually sit down and meditate.  Since you are not truly satisfying yourself INSIDE, (more) sex, excessive sugar/flesh/starches in your diet, TV/movies/funky reading call even louder saying THEY can take the pain away.  Ha!  Go ahead and try it....like you have for the last zillion lifetimes.  Temporary fixes at best...total bust at worse, you can ONLY find that lasting Peace by Attaching yourself once again to your TRUE SOURCE.

That's the second thing I am choosing to speak about.  My Teacher said that the ego was the soul attached to the senses...the Fraud world, is how I like to put it.  So....our job is to detach our grimy little fingers from all these sense toys and grab on to THE ONE, good and tight.  THE ONE....the TOTAL SOURCE OF LOVE AND ALL GOOD.  Does this make obvious sense that we would be fully HAPPY if we were FULLY ATTACHED to THIS???  Folks, this isn't rocket science.  It comes down to this utterly simple (not necessarily easy) choice.  Does what we are choosing to do IN EACH MOMENT attach us more to the Fraud world/senses....or does it detach us from that and increase our attachment to the SOURCE...THE ONE?  

The more I attach myself to THE ONE, the happier I am and the more likely I will keep choosing that Happiness.  I now look at my day and schedule my spiritual activities FIRST...and the  mundane stuff morphs around it.  My frequency keeps going up as I do this...so the right choice becomes easier and easier to make.  The INWARD magnetic pull is gaining ascendancy and the struggle between the REAL and the Unreal is lessening. 

Those of you who tell me you are struggling, give a listen.  Make your HIGHEST CHOICE in the use of your time, in your sense-world choices, in your ENVIRONMENT, for ONE WEEK.  I GUARANTEE in ONE WEEK you will not only be HAPPIER,  you will find the magnetic pull has switched and you are much more naturally and easily choosing to do the right thing...which is the thing that gives you LASTING Happiness.   Attach yourself more and more to THE ONE, and you and your life will be PERMEATED with THE ONE'S Happiness, Peace. and Joy!!  You BECOME what you associate with, what you focus on, and what you Choose.  Isn't it time to Choose what truly brings you HAPPINESS? 

Loving you always, k

Sacrificing Dumbness!

Good Evening!

My intuition kept calling me up to Inshallah...and it was RIGHT ON!!  We got there late Saturday night AND I had a wonderful morning med in the training room both Sunday and Monday.  The vibes in there just don't quit!!  Too many of you have met the Great Ones in the training room during Connections and Journey Saturday's mergings and Their frequency remains on and on.  Idyllwild is so beautiful this time of year and there has been enough rain & snow to see some lingering GREEN.  The peace was tangible in those mountains, both inside and outside.

I chilled and studied my Lessons... Taj and I even snuck in a nap or two.  I came home replenished and satisfied.  I completed June Training recruitment calls on the ride home so I had the freedom to make my highest choice this Monday night.  What was it?  For the first time in the 32 years I've lived here, I mozied down to the SRF Temple Lesson Study.  My only regret...I am kicking myself that I have missed this the last 3 decades!!

They begin with silent meditation for an hour with a short chanting after 30 minutes.  Lesson study commences with reading a paragraph of a Lesson and then sitting in silence to meditate on what was read.  I think some people may silently reread the paragraph, but I chose to meditate.  Somewhere in the middle they stop and just meditate some extra time.  This is so mellow they only get through a couple of pages of the Lesson...and then meditate again!  It was just like the scripture study Yogananda mentions in the Autobiography of a Yogi.   A few people gather to study the scriptures.  A passage is read and then all meditate for a time.  One truly can assimilate the meaning much more deeply...into the very atoms or cells, I think He said.

I am considering going each night they have something going on at the Temple.  They study scriptures 3 nights a week which always includes the preceding hour of meditation, have longer meditations on others.  As Den said...they set it all up for you...you just have to show up and get you butt in the chair!!

I was speaking to my daughter today.  I was saying it is getting clearer and clearer that my happiness can only be found within.  All the outward push and show does not provide lasting contentment.  I am looking both inside myself and also at external activities and collectives that provide support for my inner journey.  I used to view these folks that show up night after night as people with incredible self-discipline and the ability to truly sacrifice all the worldly offerings on the altar of their spiritual quest.  Now, I am beginning to understand they go because they are addicted to the joy their focus in providing.  True joy that lasts.

Humans are all the same.  They are driven by their desire for happiness.  People strive and push themselves for money, fame, sex/relationship because they are seeking Happiness.  We each have experienced the truth that these things DO NOT provide LASTING Happiness.  These folks who go to these Temple activities are  still going year after year because they are finding Lasting Happiness in the support their showing up offers to their  Spiritual life.  Just because they "get" it, and we don't (in the past) doesn't mean they have sacrificed anything but their dumbness!

Ha!  At the moment I am the one who feels dumb, dumb, dumb for passing up such wonderful opportunities over the years.

Examine how you spend your free time.  Is it offering you the Lasting Happiness you crave?  If not, re-work your schedule and do those things that will give you support and enthusiasm for discovering your True Self of Ever-lasting Bliss!

Learning along with you! k

Full Metal Jacket

Good Morning!

Yesterday I did my 6 hour meditation with Bobbi.  I came out fit as a fiddle and indelibly happy, as is always the case when one spends that must time with the ONE. I had the inspiration to phone someone regarding a debt owed to me.  Unbeknownst to me, they were harboring a list of resentments, which were presented in anger and accusation.  In my lifetime, my response yesterday, was singular.  I experienced zero reaction or defensiveness.  The verbal bullets never made their mark even though the tidal way must've been heading my way for nearly an hour.  It was if I was wearing a full metal jacket and I was completely unperturbed and unscathed. 

I realized the ONE had set this timing up for at least two reasons.  Certainly it was a demonstration of the power of attunement with Divine Good.  It also was a very loving gesture...as I can only imagine the pain of reaction had I not been so perfectly prepared.  I tell you...this amazing experience makes me desire to do Six hours EVERY day!  I am not there yet, but wow...just to have the ability to avoid any onslaught of negativity is certainly hugely appealing.

I saw something else very clearly.  Each person has their perception of reality based on their own personal history.  The imprint of their past choices and experiences forms the basis of their perceived reality.  It appears very black and white to some folks...as this is what they "see" so it must be "true".  If they have had very painful experiences based on very traumatic and difficult choices, even some before birth, it is likely that they have a very strong predilection to see the worst in what is.  Because of their own wounds and hurts, they are likely to view others as wounding or intending to hurt.  They will malign and impugn negative intentions or motives.  This does not make them "wrong".  Coming from the dark places they have survived, this is how life really IS for them.  They magnetize and create it, they live in it, and it is sad but true, for them.

My Teacher said conditions are essentially "neutral".  It is we who give the good or bad value to them.  It is from our innate mindset and imprint that these judgments are made.  Yesterday I saw this in stark definition.  Some of the things said were so beyond my ability to conceive, I did chuckle a couple of times.  On some level it struck me as amusing.  This is truly a play here and it is farcical that we take it so seriously!

I really don't know why, unless it's based on my lifelong connection to God, but I am an optimist.  I generally see the glass as half-full and feel things WILL work out for the best.  I don't worry a whole lot, and I rarely think of the possible bad things that COULD happen.

I believe we each can change our "imprint"...our innate way of holding our experiences in this world.  It's an inside job...and no one else can really do it for us.  They can give us circumstances and tools...but ultimately, we must be willing to give up our view of what we think is "right" to embrace something new which will be foreign to us at the onset...yet much more conducive to our personal happiness over time.

Yesterday, I experienced someone else's "right" that was misery-making.  I observed it...I did not try to make them "wrong".  That's how they see the world.  They have the choice, free choice, to see it as they choose.  It is neither my responsibility nor my privilege to change that.  It IS my responsibility and my choice to be at peace with it...and to continue to choose my happiness.  That's exactly what I did.  Because of the Grace of long meditation, I had the Conscious Awareness to see things clearly.  My ego had no chance to jump in and take ownership of feelings and drama that wasn't mine.  It did not have the support to try to make things "right", or to defend it's position.

I listened.  I examined the input for whatever could make me a better person.  I stayed calm, centered, and I believe, loving.  There was not a lot I could say or do, but I was Present.

I am deeply grateful for this experience.  I know I never have to be "right" again.  I can allow others to have the "right" they choose to have...and keep my own peace.  For once, I deeply understood the parable Den tells of the Buddha in the training.  The neighbor comes to him and berates him angrily.  He listens.  He doesn't respond.  The neighbor leaves.  His disciples cannot understand why he didn't defend himself or explain.  He responds, "The man offered me an gift.  I chose not to accept it."

Identification with the Soul instead of the ego allows this great freedom.  We can observe ANY situation with even-mindedness and peace, and extract from it what we deem useful.  We don't have to jump in the fray...we don't have to explain or change anything...we just have to be Present.

Amazing, isn't it? 

Loving you in the ONE, k

Cutting to the chase

Good Morning,

Something singular just happened...twice. The blog I was composng was erased from my screen.  I'm not sure this has ever happened before...and if it did, it was years ago.  Obviously, I won't say what I was going to...and in summary, this is what I WILL share.

1.  If you have Kriya Yoga, I suggest you deeply review the Kriya Yoga Lessons.  I have been an initiate for nearly 4 decades and I was not getting near the results this technique can offer.  I was not practicing with the exactness and depth required, although my quantity was there.

2.  If you are preparing to receive Kriya Yoga Initiation in the next several months, DON'T LET ANYTHING GET IN YOUR WAY!

3.  If you have a soul connection with Jesus Christ, or think you may deeply resonate with any of the other 5 Self-Realization Fellowship Gurus, definitely explore the possbility of receiving Kriya Initiation.

What is happening to me in my meditations is way beyond anything I could've expected, consistently, and it ALL relates to the much deeper level that I am practicing Kriya Yoga.

May each of you discover the best spiritual practice and path for YOU!  I am so deeply grateful for what has been given to me on my path.  I do believe Oneness with God is available to me this lifetime.  I have the consummate tool...I just have to use it correctly, deeply, and well!

Loving you...and choosing to live with greater Interiorization and Consciousness.
k

Inner Smile

Good Sunday!

When I randomly say to myself, often out-loud, "I'm happy", I am aware that it is totally the product of my interior life.  My meditations have been consistently good of late, and I feel my sense of well-being growing with each passing day.  Truly...it IS an inside job.

I executed my plan last night and attended a charity function with my posse of Connected IV folks.  Each of us actually meditated during the event, at various times, as other attendees meandered around oblivious.  We reminded one another to stay in CCC by tapping each other's spiritual eye when necessary.  We were prepared: we rode to and from the event listening to Sri Yukteswar's account of Hiranaloka in the Autobiography of a Yogi. 

I noticed I experienced Kriya yoga as being FAR more entertaining and pleasant than any of the external offerings.  Music, dancing, food (well...the dessert trays gave us all some distraction problems) and the baubles and experiences given at auction paled in comparison.  I challenge you to put meditation right in the middle of some of all that and see what YOU think.  Most of it's getting pretty boring...and the bliss of meditation is ever-new.

I studied my Kriya Lessons again at lunch...and I marvel at how much I never "got" before.  I am now wondering if I even ever read them!  Could I really have overlooked this much?  Someone tried to comment on something from the newspaper and I just halted that with "Nothing in there could be as good as this!"  I truly think we don't take the time to compare...or bring the spiritual right into the midst of the material...or we would make Higher Choices more frequently.  Habitual, robotic behavior is leading us around by our noses.  In fact, it's rather like we have a nose-ring, and are habit-slaves to our senses and our histories.  Is it reasonable to believe we keep doing the same unsatisfying behaviors over and over...expecting some kind of different, delicious results?  Isn't that called insanity...doing the same and expecting new results?

I spoke to Dennis about attending the 2 hour Sunday night med at the Temple.  It just sounds GOOD...better than any of the other options.  I realize putting habits like that into play will definitely change our lives long-term.  I know a couple who goes every Sunday night and have been for YEARS.  Just think...their wisest choice EACH SUNDAY NIGHT for DECADES.  That will sure fly nicely when they do their life review at incarnation end.

My thought today is to wedge these changes in, small and large, wherever I can.  It's a fair test to see if I enjoy my spiritual pursuits more than the same ol', same ol'.  I just don't believe the fraud world has got the same wool-pulled-over-my-eyes magic.   Stacked next to sense indulgence of any nature, this Inner Smile beats everything!

Loving you! k

Something's happening here....

Good Evening...

O.K.  So I'm on a roll...and I know full well it's up to ME how long it lasts.  I also know that my ego will do all it can to body-block it.

I have been reviewing my Kriya technique lessons and it's making a difference.  If you have ANY meditation technique lessons, I suggest you review them and see what I mean.  If you don't have any technique lessons....well....I suggest you get some!

I started my med later than usual and I got so into it the time disappeared.  I began my evening med much earlier than usual because I was still in a higher frequency and was making my highest choice.  Starting early meant I was not sleepy and again, I had a fantastic meditation.

Right now I am looking forward to the 3 hour temple med tomorrow morning and have already set in motion plans to do my full evening sadhana early and before my evening commitments Saturday night. 

When in the influence of higher frequency, these decisions are natural and made with ease and grace.  I considered how my Guru's father use to come home from the office and practice hours of Kriya yoga as his recreation!!  It sounded so austere when considered from my normal consciousness...yet, experiencing the bliss of Kriya as I did tonight, it sounds like a perfectly wise choice.  He didn't do it because it was a duty...he did it BECAUSE IT FELT BETTER THAN ANY OTHER OPTION.

When we evaluate the choices of the saints they seem so self-disciplined and pleasure-deprived.  That's because we are so deeply blinded by the fraud world we fail to notice they are making choices that KEEP THEM IN BLISS! 

I notice how differently I use my time when I am entrained in higher consciousness.  I took my Kriya lessons to lunch with me and studied them between bites.  I found them mesmerizing.  My mind has been frequently returning to Divinely inspired songs or centering mantras.  The point is...when we reach a certain level or frequency we are naturally drawn to our higher choice and to the REAL.  It is not a struggle or a duty...it is our natural state and we are at HOME in it. 

We struggle and squirm because often we are still fighting the pull of maya delusion.  We are half-in and half-out and it's difficult to disentangle ourselves.  When we analyze our life and the path ahead from this "mortal" viewpoint it appears very long and very steep.  The ego uses this vantage point to discourage and belittle us.

If we can just place more attention and more time into the inner than the outer...even for a bit...the pendulum swings and the Good choices become easier to make and life is ease and grace.

I have been here before and I remember that the ego will marshall it's forces against my sublime state.  It has often attacked my physicality knowing if I am choosing health I have a more difficult time maintaining optimum sadhana.  It may put tempting fraud-world choices in my view.  Knowing this, I have specifically chosen to keep company with those I know share my desire for Freedom.  I have specifically requested we, as a band, keep attention at the Spiritual Eye in CCC (Constant Conscious Connection.)  I am seeing any fraud-world situations as opportunities to strengthen my habit of staying in Connection while interacting with the mundane or distracting.

My suggestion to you is to keep fighting the outward flow...you never know how close you may be to the tipping point...when flowing inward to the Real is ease and grace.  And when you are in that place, the fraud world seems superficial and unsatisfying.  Meditation becomes delicious and you see soul underneath ego around you. 

Yes, something is happening here...And I like it.

Loving you, k

Morphing my meditation UP

Good Morning!

Choosing to reflect today on meditation.  During Level IV we each have the tremendous support of the whole group.  We meditate together for 3 hours each morning and then again towards evening for an hour and a half.  The ego doesn't have much leeway...no maneuvering room, really.  We just all do this...no matter how we feel emotionally, physically, spiritually...the butt is in the chair!!

Returning to the States late on Friday eve, still all the local Holy Land IV's showed up at the 3 hour Sat. morning temple med.  Again...phenomenal group support.  When my ego realized it was again totally on it's own (Den and I have different schedules so rarely do I have 3 hours of his company and support) it started hedging.  It's been 2 and a half years of committed 4 hours a day and yet...Whining!!  I felt so unready to deal with this...after all of this time!!!  My God....I began my path in 1970 and I STILL have to psyche myself into my practice.  It STILL resonates "duty" instead of "delight".  Truly ridiculous as I almost always reach that place of sweet stillness and peace...and REMEMBER it is SO MUCH better than ANYTHING the world can offer!

I have been working with something I read in one of Yogananda's advanced lessons.  Pranayama is a method by which we can consciously control our life-force...to ultimately be able to switch off at will the five sense "telephones." He spoke of pratyhara, or the state of the mind when it is disconnected from the five sense "telephones".  It "...yields freedom of the mind from physical sensations; it is the power of mental interiorization, or withdrawal of the mind from the senses".  He says that "those who practice pranayama or any other method of breath and life-energy control without bearing in mind the purpose for which they are practicing do not attain pratyahara.  Patanjali states that the purpose of pranayama must be pratyahara, or making the mind return within."

As I am doing my meditation techniques now, I remind myself of their purpose...it is to interiorize my mind and draw me into the spine.  This has really assisted me to concentrate much better.  When I find myself thinking, I remind myself this will NOT interiorize my mind.  I return to technique practice which will! 

Today I realized something else with a jolt.  I occasionally focus on a celebrity couple...it's a pastime I have allowed myself now and then.  Her father is a devotee of my same spiritual path and I fantasize these 2 mega-influential people will "WAKE UP".  I suddenly became aware that I draw onto myself that upon which I focus.  If I concentrate on my Spiritual Teachers, I draw to me Their extraordinary attributes and frequency.  When I focus on this worldly couple, I draw the dissension and disharmony they are currently experiencing in their relationship!  Needless to say, I discontinued that train of thought immediately.  I realize it is most unwise to concentrate on the foibles, flaws, or failures of anyone!!  By so doing, I invite those disturbing qualities and outcomes right into my inner self!!  I never considered avoiding gossip or harping on others as self-protection...yet assuredly, it is!!

As I became more disciplined today, concentrating on attaining interiorization or pratyahara, I felt the keen demand of my one-pointedness.  I suddenly felt quite overwhelmed at the prospect of hours of this intensity.  I called to my Teachers for assistance.  IMMEDIATELY I could feel Them, 2 strong, giant, stalwart Warriors guarding my back.  I ALWAYS have such an arsenal of Good...I just must remember to Call Them forth!  Keeping Company with Them means I keep company with Their frequency, Their focus, Their phenomenal abilities and development.  I am never alone or stranded...never abandoned, or forgotten.  I just must REMEMBER to ask for Their assistance!

Because of my one-pointedness the meditation flowed easily and what had been a plan to bolt at the 3 hour mark morphed into staying over, as it often does.  I sat there with the Fruits...the peace and poise and sweet interiorization.  Suddenly my "to do" list seemed so distant and relatively minor.  The purpose of my life is not relentless doing...it is rather, relentless REMEMBERING!

Writing the blog moved from a pack of many "to-dos" to the top of the list.  Surely nothing is more important than speaking with you about our spiritual quest...the TRUE purpose of our lives!

Loving you always! k                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Core IV

Good Morning!!

We are back from Holy Land Level IV and I finally have experienced a full night's sleep...first time in weeks actually.  Having Journey/Super/IV back-to-back, then no email access when traveling equaled an extreme paucity of blogs!  So much has happened, I am choosing to know where to begin...

God and my Teachers informed me from the beginning, way back before our research trip in September, that this training was completely in Their capable hands.  We had no itinerary when arriving in Israel, and They led us around like sheep, developing the most amazing opportunities for the subsequent training.  They took over in the same way during the training itself, and it was flawless!  Dennis and I have simply never experienced anything quite like that in a training.  Obviously, the finest IV we have ever had...and with such Ease and Grace!

Looking back, it is clear now that this training produced the birth of a CORE group of folks we will be working with, and growing with, for the rest of our lives!  All the puzzle pieces of the work we have done over the years with Source Seminars fell into place...and we clearly realized it had ALL been leading to this defining moment!  Joy was tumbling through me in vast waves as I saw that something begun before I was born was finally manifest on the physical plane of Earth.

We know there are a few more to come, and a second tier of younger Sourcerers in several years, yet we know the portal to IV will be largely closing with IV 2010.  The group is progressing so rapidly, and especially considering some very unique work we will be doing next year with them, it would be very difficult to jump in after that and meld well.  This CORE group will be mentors to a 2nd group which will follow some years ahead.

I have the sense that this creation of a Core group of people, committed to their own and one another's Realization THIS LIFETIME, is unusual and "experimental".  It is as if the Great Ones are seeing if a whole "block" of folks can make the Jump together.  We are excited for the chance and the challenge and absolutely committed.

Something came up during the training which demonstrated that we have not always been as clear as necessary about what IV really is.  With permission and anonymity, I choose to share one participant's experience with the intention of creating a clearer picture of IV's intent and purpose.  This was written to another Source group of which they are a part.

"So basically I had the most profound experience of my life in
Jerusalem. Hands Down. For a frame of reference, Level IV is different then the other Source seminars. The theme of this seminar is advancing spiritually and committing to doing whatever it takes to get liberated this lifetime. I believed, intellectually, in the concept of advancing so much in a lifetime that I could end my cycle of reincarnation.  However, I thought of it the way I think about having kids. "Yeah that will happen someday when I am older." However, I didn't really grok (as some people like to say) this idea of liberation, or being one with the infinite.

That is, until the day I visited the Western Wall, or the Wailing Wall, which is the most holy site for the Jews. It is said that "The Divine Presence Rests Upon the Wall." I can verify this. I wrote a prayer on a tiny piece of paper to stick into a chink in the wall per the custom. I wrote: Oh My Divine! Please grant me the wish of being liberated; of resting with you in this very lifetime.  You have my heart, my body, my soul.

When I got to the wall, women were whispering prayers into the crack of the stones. They were crying, wailing if you will, into the prayer books. They were reciting things in another language; things that I had no context of.  So I touched the wall, lightly at first, like when you pet a frightened dog. I whispered a prayer. The only one that felt permissible. The one that I wrote on a tiny piece of paper. (the only formal prayers I knew were Catholic and that just seemed inappropriate). Softly at first, but with each repetition, my feelings got stronger. By the end of my allotted time at the wall, about an hour, I was clutching the wall, and sobbing just like each of the other women there.

Some of you at Super, felt the prenatal pain of when you were first separate from the Infinite. I have never experienced this, and never expected to. However, at the wall, through my entire body, mind, and spirit I felt that I was touching the Divine Presence.  I felt like I was finally able to touch God again and to feel Him in my arms. Suddenly I felt the pain of being apart from Him. It was so strong that I felt like I had to do everything in my power to be with Him again as quickly as possible. Every spare moment I had in Jerusalem (trust me there weren't too many) I was at the Wall. Touching, Caressing, Whispering love ballads to my Beloved.

So here I am, back in the Fraud World. One of my main intentions of Level IV was to not lose the connection I knew I would develop during the seminar. Even a few days after the Super my ego started winning, telling me it was OK just to do my Kriyas in bed half asleep. I so didn't choose to get back to that place. Amazing how God answered my prayers. How can you fall back to sleep when you have such an important quest? When you are in love with someone what wouldn't you do to be with that person? This is how I feel. How can my ego ever win?  It is so screwed and it knows it. Each time I am challenged with temptation I ask myself, "Do I love this more or God more? Is this worth being delayed from my ultimate goal?" I am not even thinking of being liberated at the end of my life anymore. I am seriously thinking of how quickly I can attain Nirvikalpa Samadhi. If you don't know what that is click on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nirvikalpa

Five years? Ten? Why would you wait 50 years to be with your True Love, when you could be with them in this moment? My spirituality has gone from walking the meandering path filled with side trips and detours, to the shortcut leading to a rocket-ship waiting to take me Home. My life has finally found the direction it was seeking. I choose to use my single minded focus to go Home. This might sound a bit intense to some, but after hugging God, what choice do I have?"

So there you have it...that's what IV is all about.  I am writing this today as the Reality of this seminal element of my Life's Purpose is virtually singing within me.  I always share with you what's happening with me...and this is definitely what's captured my Heart and Awareness, in the moment.

Loving you always, k

In Love and Gratitude

Good Sunday Morning!

I am sitting here marveling at how God has our backs!  We are about to leave on Level IV Holy Land and it happens this year we are all Kriya Yogis...just turned out that way, unplanned.  We had arranged for the group to meet with a very Beloved monk for pre-trip Inspiration.  He mentioned  he would have to do it earlier as he was preparing to give a Kriyaban Ceremony...something specific and relatively rare for Initiates.  What!  I thought...that sounds mighty good.  When I discovered it was going to be held locally I was able to arrange for our whole group to attend.

It turned out to be the best experience of its kind in my life!  Way over-the-top.  So now, just before we leave for the Holy Land, a number of us have received very enlightening instruction in performing the center piece of our meditation deeply, correctly, and well!

This morning Dennis and I sat down to our meditation together and he mentioned he would not be staying as long as I.  Ha!  Since we both performed our Kriyas SO MUCH more deeply...he was there every bit as long as myself.  We were also both remarkably interiorized at the end...and I "saw" how amazing the timing of this series of events was for us...and for each of those coming on Level IV.  God sure has our backs...and our Gurus set this whole thing up...it is so patently obvious!!

We are going into 3 hours of meditation each morning with our group,and an hour an a half in the evening.  With the increased depth and concentration gifted us by attending the Kriyaban Ceremony, the whole tenor of the trip has evolved...and become intensely more powerful.

Attendance at Mass today was also really special.  As the priest spoke of the Upper Room where Jesus met with His disciples I knew in just days we would be IN that very Upper Room.  Jesus' Presence was palpable today...and shortly we will walk and experience the 5th Gospel.  "...Five gospels record the life of Jesus.  Four you will find in books and one you will find in the land they call Holy.  Read the fifth gospel and the world of the four will open to you."

I am Awash in Love and Gratitude....and I Share it with you!!

Loving you always, k

Putting Humpty-Dumpty back together

Good Morning!

I awoke early and remembered...not God, but the sh*tload of stuff I must complete before Level IV Holy Land...does that make it Holy sh*t?  Don't think so!
Whoaaaa...I thought.  I don't choose to wake up or even get up, with this burden hanging in my solar plexus.  I turned my full attention to GOD.  Does God Love me...Yes!  Does He have my back? Yes!  Do I have SEVERAL Friends in HIGH PLACES?  Yes!  Then why am I even worrying???

My BEST FRIENDS...and Dearest LOVE, are ALL Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent.  They have more tools in Their arsenal to assist me than I even require!  Get over it!, I'm thinking, CALM DOWN!

I am even beginning to feel some compassion for my ego.  The ego isn't a bad guy, really, it just got attached to the wrong things!  The ego is the soul attached to the fraud world and the senses.  To feel WHOLE again, Complete, I just must retrieve all those energy strings flowing out the wrong way and bring 'em back HOME.

I start doing that...I start collecting them and bringing them into my CENTER.  I start feeling calmer, happier, more at peace.  It really IS that simple...Humpty-Dumpty just has to collect all those energy strands and bring them back HOME.  Each of us must Identify with the REAL, utterly and completely, and we are WHOLE once more!

I reflect on the Prayer: Lead me from the Unreal to the REAL...Yes!  From Darkness unto LIGHT....Yes!  From Ignorance to WISDOM...Yes!  From sorrow to JOY...Yes!  From desires to CONTENTMENT...Yes! From restlessness to PEACE...Yes!  And from death unto my IMMORTAL LIFE IN THEE...YES!! 

I rest in this solidarity for hours...and when I arise I am READY to live in this world WHOLE.  

We invest our energy outward...we become tattered and frayed.  We have scattered ourselves away from the ONE we ARE.  We collect ourselves once more...and Humpty-Dumpty is healed!

Loving you! k

Passion not pressure!

Good Morning!

Long time, no write.  Overscheduled and experiencing the consequences. ;-)
"When will I ever learn...."
My God and My Guru are choosing me to write today so here am I.

I woke up in the Current and knew if I could just MERGE I would be well on my way.  I chose to do that, unsuccessfully, and yet it was a good ride!

I asked for certain Guidance and got that if I could just be LAMBLIKE, applying no pressure to myself OR OTHERS, All would be well.  Ha!

Yes, that is my test, isn't it....or I should say, one of several ;-)

Something sweet happened at this recent most Super of Supers.  I had been shown that a particular grad was going to share that I had been pressuring them.  The forewarning was to allow me to make another choice than defensiveness when they brought this up at their sharing.  In this case, whatdyaknow, I had not been doing so.

It unfolded as I had been shown and I experienced what it is like to be accused WITHOUT reacting back, without buying in.  Very sweet.  I felt myself open, vulnerable, and at peace.  I choose to walk in the world this way!

A very dear grad asked to comment at this point in the sharing.  Choosing to remember... and I believe she said she awoke one day from a dream about me...or maybe just thinking about me, and she received this:  "It's not Pressure with Kanta,  it's Passion!"

Well...that's true WHEN I'm at my best!  I choose to live in that Passionate state of God, God, God...and more specifically GOD FIRST!

There is no Pressure when I am totally absorbed, It's just how things are!  It is my full STATE OF BEING.  My Teacher was called the Mad Monk when He was young.  I am comfortable being called Mad Kanta.

I truly choose to be in my Passion WITHOUT pressure on myself OR others!

I asked about a dear one this morning, whilst still in the Current.  My Teacher is happy with the situation...all will be well.  I must just stay in Passion and out of Pressure.   Ahhhh....I choose to do it!

I encourage you likewise.  Get Passionate about the Divine!  Immerse yourself in this Love of your Life!  Yet, don't pressure yourself when you are not perfect.  Saints were sinners who never gave up!  We're in progress!  Just keep moving forward, becoming more and more in Love with the LOVER we Each have been seeking, whether we know it or not!  We WILL reach our Goal.  PASSION, NOT pressure!

Loving you...It's good to be back! k

Disidentification is FUNDAMENTAL

INSHALLAH

Good Morning!
I  have been choosing to write this blog for days and during the Journey there is little time in addition to keeping my commitments to sadhana and exercise.  It must've been Monday that I had the clear realization that it really comes down to disidentifying with the ego.  I believe when that is accomplished, along with a deep desire and love for God, of course, it's GAME OVER.  Truly, this dance of Cosmic Delusion IS a GAME...and nothing more.

I was doing my reoccurring examination of the multi-flawed "contraption" I call ego during my meditation.  So many flaws...so little time.  You know the drift.  This particular non-productive habit of mine, eroding the peace of my meditation, always lays a burden on my heart.  AND...if I am aware I always can hear the ONE or my Teachers remind me I AM NOT MY EGO!

I DON'T have to make my ego "perfect" to be with God...frankly, that's an impossible task.  I do believe I must keep working on it...making it a better version of itself, so it creates less havoc in my and others' lives.  Yet...truly, what is really essential is my detachment, my disindentification with it.  I must CONSTANTLY remind myself that I am the beautiful, all good, eternal, and ever-loved SOUL beneath the contraption.  Somehow my soul got tangled up  with it, enmeshed with it, when it foolishly became attached to the senses and this external fraud world.  Now, my focus must be to extricate it from that mess.

I saw clearly that when I, my soul, am fully free of ego identification, there will be NO connecting link to pour the negative karma, ignorance, false input that flows from the ego into my Awareness.!!  I will be FREE...even of my (actually my ego's) past misdeeds. 

It is SO EASY to see the affects of this mis-alignment during the training,.  Time and time again we instruct the participants to detach themselves from the insidious comments and sly maneuvers of their egos to maintain clouded control of their lives.  Those put-down voices they hear in their heads are their egos attempting to keep them down and asleep.  Those old, tired habits, that never did bring them joy, are one of the main weapons the ego uses to retain it's captured territory of the body-mind.

We must get in the habit of saying "My ego...." rather than "I", when saying anything negative or limiting about ourselves.  Our souls are pure and perfect...we MUST make this demarcation clear in all expression both to ourselves and to others.

We must STOP and analyze WHO is deciding on a self-destructive course...often related to sense attachment.  Does this action, plan, intention serve our SOUL, and our FREEDOM,  or is it part of the negative habit-arsenal used by our egos against us?

Mostly, however, I believe it's the negative self-talk that does us the greatest disservice. We must NOT identify with our failings... they ARE NOT our failings!!  They are the failings of the ego...and ONLY the  ego.

Tear off the blinders and reach for the Hand that Loves you and is doing all IT can to pull you out of the mire of sense addiction and false belief.  We deserve nothing less than Full Freedom in the Bliss of the ONE.  We are NOT these tiny bodies in these form boxes...we are INFINITE GOOD.  We can create galaxies!!  We've just forgotten WHO WE ARE.  NOT EGO.  As I am fond of saying, "E.....GO!!

Loving you! k

When the glass seems "half empty"

Inshallah

Good Morning!

I'm in my "Turn this sow's ear into a Silk Purse" mode.  Inshallah does that...it KNOWS how to purify!
Having Bobbi here is both incredible inspiration (she's got it licked as far as Liberation, in my opinion) and also a bit depressing.  Watching someone of her spiritual calibre makes me painfully aware of how far I have yet to go.  She is endlessly patient, serviceful to a fault, ever-willing to step up no matter how emergent, urgent, or even unreasonable the demand.  She is constantly looking for ways she can improve and receives "criticism", if one can even call it that, patiently with an even and open mind...ready to do whatever it takes to make things smoother and  better.

Then there's me.  I am hoping I can eradicate my internal triggers in time to be able to immigrate to Hiranyaloka, where "emotion bombs" wouldn't last a hot minute.  Of course, all the other glaring character defects come to mind in the magnifying glass Inshallah provides.

Then I remember.  I have a whole posse of Saints that come each time I call... when I ask....They do all They can to move me forward.  The Presence here is absolutely palpable.  When we did the opening staff meeting, staff were in tears as they felt deep longing for Home.  Yes...HOME, and all that that implies, sends quite a siren call in this sacred place.  I notice my dreams are spiritually filled and mantra is often running through my head.  As much as I am more acutely aware of the far piece I have yet to travel...equally my spiritual tool box seems more accessible and at the ready.  What is that saying, " Of whom much is given, much is expected"...and vice-versa.  That's how Inshallah feels.

So what are my options when visited with the reality of the mammoth task of dismantling this sticky, gargantuan ego?
1 Attach myself, and my predominant identification, to my pristine soul and not my funky ego.
2.CALL FOR ASSISTANCE!  My Teachers and my Community of Saints are ever at the ready...just waiting for my invitation to provide support in WHATEVER way required.
3. Stay in the MOMENT...rather than reviewing past stumbles or future possible falls.
4. MEDITATE, MEDITATE, MEDITATE.  Nothing serves to bring me back to my innate Divinity and the Inflow of Truly Loving Love like meditation.
5.  Before bed, and anytime I can slip it in, read some of my Teacher's incredibly helpful writings.
6.  Keep up the mantra or singing to God as much as I can...to replace those "other" thoughts that choose to bring me down.
7. Practice Kindness and Love...for the channel is blessed by what passes through it.  Uplifting others is a sure way to uplift oneself!  We ARE all ONE.
8. TRUST and keep calling on the ONE with unquenchable thirst and longing.  God WILL Come whether we have made ourselves perfect or not!  God CANNOT resist the one-pointed Call of our heart's LOVE.
9. Be Authentic and Honest...when we are sincere the sly ego can't find a place to hide in denial.
10.  See the glass half FULL, in hope.  We KNOW WHY we are here and WHERE we are headed...if we just keep keeping on, one foot in front of the other, we WILL reach our Journey's GOAL.

Loving you...and feeling much better, k
 

On Prayer and Posture

Good Morning!

Two things were pronounced at yesterday's 6 hour meditation which I will share, both revealed in the blog title.
One of our dear grads and active blog subscribers (often sends comments after reading) had been deeply considering/praying about attending our final SuperAdvanced in April.  A couple of days ago, through a seemingly miraculous turn of events, a prior commitment scheduled during that same time was canceled.  Things were opening up and it was looking good.  I was particularly elated as I have a lot of love and admiration for this grad's very close walk with Christ.   I have been hoping for year's they would be coming to Super.  The night before my 6 hour I got an email saying the group that had canceled the prior engagement (a business event) was now reversing their decision.  Exchanging emails, I told the grad I would "lean on Jesus" at my long meditation regarding this difficult situation.

Yesterday morning during my prayers and extensive meditation I clearly saw the type of "prayer" that really works for me.  I know prayer works, I'm not sure how, and I believe it might have something to do with our own loving energy assisting to shift a weight of negative karmic residue blocking others' or our own Highest Good.   In other words, since we ARE all ONE...some of our focused and well-intentioned energy can be utilized to move negative energy aside from our own or others' karmic paths.

I also know that I am not a God-Realized being by any means, and what I perceive as "negative" may be 100% PERFECT for another soul to experience for them to move ahead on their spiritual journey.  Who am I to say that an illness, tragedy, loss of an experience or even of a life, is not EXACTLY the best possible outcome for another soul?

I do trust and surrender to my Great Ones, to another's Great Ones (sometimes this is definitely a struggle of my will vs. THY WILL) and to the ONE.  They DO know what's best for my own and others' evolution and They can handle all with Their Capable Hands.  So, when I pray about a specific situation or outcome, I endeavor to say something like "If my prayer energy is useful in assisting in this matter for it to have the Highest Outcome, I offer it to You.  However, I totally trust and surrender to whatever YOU know is best."

When our prayers can be used to ASSIST, they are!  And it is a wonderful thing to pray to assist ourselves and others.  If the situation does NOT go the way we prayed for...obviously, They know something we don't...and All is STILL well!

Last night it appeared that things were moving for this grad to be with us...and there is still one more piece that must fall into place.  I am human, of course I will be thrilled if I see their very shining face at Super.  And if I don't...well, God had another plan and that's "okay".

The other piece from yesterday's med involved posture.  We and a majority of our Holy Land Level IV's have been working with my beloved chiropractor, Phil, and his associate, on ideal meditation posture.  I saw him the day before the 6 hour and another revelation in the posture pursuit emerged.  Yesterday I experienced a degree of proper spinal alignment I have NEVER before experienced in my nearly 40 years of meditation.  It profoundly affected my experience and performance of one meditation technique in particular.  After hours, my body, conditioned to sitting in old, inferior ways, started to complain.  I think that is normal when retraining muscles.  Still, I was so overjoyed with the affects of the earlier experience, it was difficult to keep meditating instead of mentally composing this blog!

If you live in my local area (San Diego County) or even in California, I strongly recommend you schedule a posture consultation with Dr. Phil.  If you are flying in for any one of the next 3 trainings we have, or the ones in June, work it out to see him...preferably BEFORE the training you are attending.  It will make a HUGE difference in your experience of the meditations done at Inshallah, I assure you!  Contact him at 760 942 9700.  His fee is very reasonable ($75 per hour) and if economically essential, you may be able to "share" your appointment with another friend or family member to split the cost.  I believe he often does this work on Fridays.  You know I rarely ever write up such a rec yet in this case, I feel very strongly.  As for our Level IV's and Super attendees...JUST DO IT!!

Loving you, as I sit up straight and Pray to remember to do so! k