Source Seminars

My idiot vs. my idiot

Good Morning!

Just back from Inshallah...what a respite and glorious contribution it is to one's life and inner peace!  Re-entry, however, is always "interesting".  Isn't that just the best word, "interesting"? One doesn't have to really buy into the drama yet one can convey that it exists, haha.

That's just what this post is about.  I awoke too early today...in terms of the desirable amount of sleep, that is.  I gave myself a certain window to fall back to sleep and then I decided to go directly into meditation.  Good choice!  From that vantage, I could observe my Idiot (ego) being very angry and obstreperous with my Idiot.  Yes, one aspect of myself just really feels like beating up the other.  Not even regarding  anything exactly specific.  It just feels angry, frustrated, perhaps overwhelmed as well.  Upon reflection, definitely overwhelmed.

My soul, the Prince of Peace, can survey all this with a sense of amusement, even entertainment.  It is NOT my ego, thank God (good parenting there, haha) and does not have to take part, or even take seriously.

My Soul has also very firmly set a boundary for the Idiot regarding NO PROJECTION of it's frailties and current froth upon any other Idiots who may be in or around it today.  It has stuff...Idiots do, and it WILL keep it to itself!

The Soul also will absolutely PROTECT the well-being of my inner child. The Idiot is not allowed any name-calling, any put-downs, any flagellation of the little one whatsoever.  The Soul and the Inner Child are sacrosanct...they are each pure and perfect expressions of the One.  Not to say the little one doesn't have "wounds" AND they are stuff applied by the Idiot (and other Idiots) and have no real or lasting staining power!

The second lovely part of this morning's soul support, in addition to meditation, are the incredible affirmations created by one in Permanent Soul Awareness (Yogananda).  They come floating to mind just at the required time. This gem is particularly apropos:

Beloved Lord, teach me to feel that Thou art the sole activating power, and that in recognition of Thee as the Doer lies the value of all my life's experiences.  Teach me to behold Thee as the only Friend, helping and encouraging me through my earthly friends.

And immediately after that, Soul hits the Idiot right in the eye with another salvo to keep my day (and my mind) moving in the right direction:

Each morning I offer my body, my mind, and any ability I possess to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator, in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.  I know that all work is Thy work and that no task is too difficult or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.

Throw in the Affirmaton for Psychological Success, The Light of Smiles, and any number of other such jewels, and I am altogether ready to observe my Idiot deal with my Idiot in whatever way it thinks it must.  I intend to keep my attention on my Soul, my God, and my Best Friends (my Gurus). In fact, I say:

Wilt Thou not open Thy lips of silence and whisper constant guiding thoughts to my soul?

As I jump from the bed with enthusiasm, cheerfulness, dedication of my day to the ONE, I realize my soul has taken charge, wrested control of mood and manner from the warring Idiots, and readied itself for a day of love and service...outcome unimportant, Conscious and Remembrance ALL IMPORTANT.  I will do my best, of course, AND LEAVE THE RESULTS TO GOD!

Ahhhh....one last gem from the mine of jewels:

Teach me to relax and cast aside all mental burdens, allowing Thee to express through me, Thy perfect health, peace, love and wisdom.

Have a wonderful day watching your Idiot(s)....they are Such a show, aren't they?

Loving you always, k

Playing my role

Good Morning!

Things are really starting to move....and I am beginning to understand.  Major: the ego (or IDIOT) as I like to call any of them, is NOT me!  I am becoming more able to distance myself.  It gets in messes, it has desires/expectations/issues....and I, the soul, watch.  Sometimes it's amusing...sometimes boring...my soul is always calm and at peace.  Who cares?

There will ALWAYS be more drama, there will ALWAYS be more ups and downs, that's the poor ol' ego's lot.  Not mine.  I am here to watch the show.  I play my part as my GOD has written it.  The ego may care about this or that....and I don't.

I know God is waiting for the ego-motor to just run out of gas.  My attachment to it is what provides it fuel.  I am part of the incredible OCEAN of energy...and when my soul forgets and merges into ego, it provides some of that inherent energy to the ego to keep motoring on.

I am pulling the plug.  I am watching...observing...and doing my best to remember IT'S JUST A SHOW!!!

This morning I had to hop out of bed before affirmations to make a call back east.  There was a set of circumstances.  My ego had a desire for them to go a certain way as it seemed best for all (and what does my EGO know?)  After the conversation, it sure didn't sound like it was going to go that direction....and I JUST DIDN'T CARE!

I did my affirmations and became more and more ecstatic.  I KNEW God had a great plan....and I was totally behind it.  It no longer mattered how the cookie crumbled, haha.  Doing affirmations in soul consciousness brings them all HOME as ABSOLUTE TRUTH.  Every glorious sentence was the Truth and only the Truth!  Joy! Joy! Joy!

Miracle of miracles, some amazing turn of events, and it  morphed the way my ego thought made the most sense.  Fine.  I can go with that, haha.  It's ALL out of my hands, anyway!

I am weary of second-guessing THE INFINITE CREATOR.  I am choosing to play my part and leave the writing and directing to the ONE.  It's the ONE'S show anyway....started it, showing it, and will end it when desired.  Why should I get tweeked about anything?  I get my HUGE paycheck in the end for playing this role to my absolute best.  I get UNENDING BLISS.  Tell  me, what's to argue with that?

Loving you always, k

 

Manipulation. Motivation. What is Highest Choice?

Good Morning!

I woke up today and knew there was something on the periphery of my Consciousness that was waiting to be discovered.  I am beginning to grok that various little experiences in life are part of one effort to awaken me to some truth that I am finally ready to comprehend.

Next weekend is Mother's Day and I decided that there was nowhere I would rather spend it than Inshallah.  Each time I go there I notice I am very reluctant to leave.  I find it easier to meditate in the training room (and with deeper results) than almost anywhere.  The natural beauty surrounding Inshallah is stirring and uplifting as I gaze from any of the decks, or nature's rock outcroppings.

A beloved Core IV member and I recently built a new trail in a previously un-traversed part of the property which circles around to intersect with the old trail and allows a real circumambulation of the land to the west.  I can't wait to get up there and keep improving that path.  I have some new cement gnomes to place in welcoming nooks so folks will be better able to determine the exact route the trail takes.  They are really heavy so that probably won't be possible...but one can dream, haha!

Truth be told neither Den or Sundari seem to evidence any real passion for going.  Only the manipulation of Mother's Day would manifest such I believe.  And I just don't feel like using that card....

This brings me to the topic of this post.  Manipulation.  Motivation.  What's Highest Choice?     

A few months ago I had the opportunity to experience someone's strong attempt to "get their way" with us through manipulation.  I was aware of certain facts that made their ploy obvious, unbeknownst to them.  We had had prior dealings with this individual and easily went along with their requests.  This time it just felt WRONG.  Our capitulation did not seem to be Highest Choice for most involved.  It certainly did not feel responsible to reward and thus encourage further this pattern of intense manipulation.

We knew this person would really pull out all the stops if we did not capitulate...and we also knew this is why they had been so effective in getting their desired ends for so long.  That's exactly what's happened.  If we happen to see them in a crowd they disfigure their face with glowering, pouting, "trouble-brewing".  Is this uncomfortable for us to see?  Absolutely.  Does it trigger the desire to appease?  Yes....and no.  Because it stimulates the very parts of us that we are endeavoring to heal and make strong. 

If I or anyone pouts, tantrums, demands our way, whom are we hurting, really?  We are polluting the very streams of Consciousness running through OUR lives.  Those in our external world just have to deal with it for moments...we have to LIVE with these thoughts of displeasure and disharmony.

Manipulation is the very food of external orientation.  It is underscoring the falsity that our peace and happiness lay without...not WITHIN.

As I lay abed this morning I realized the incredible PEACE and SECURITY that would inculcate and emanate from one entirely motivated by INTERNAL factors.  It is only the compass INSIDE that ever unwaveringly points to TRUTH, LOVE, HOME in the Highest Sense.

Sri Yukteswar said  "Good Manners without sincerity are like a beautiful dead lady."  This vibration is what we receive if we get our way through manipulation.  The heart of the action is missing...the reason for compliance is not driven by love but by obligation, fear of loss, duty.  Where is the JOY in that?

It seems a worthy introspection to consider what is motivating our actions, thoughts, feelings, throughout the day.  Is the motivation internal and driven by joy, love, desire to change, grow, and remember the Perfection we already ARE?  Is the movement propelled by the external...the desire to get something "out there", to protect something extraneous, to hold onto something extrinsic that can be lost? 

True love is unconditional...it does not change with any change in outward circumstances.  It just IS.

If we keep turning inside, to experience and re-iterate our love for the ONE, our true Selves, and our inner children, each of our actions outside, in the fraud world, will be driven only by love, sans manipulation, as well.

Loving you always, k
                                 

 

Continuing to Love

Good Morning!

As I wrote to a dear one today:

"What I KNOW:
Loving our inner child is the KEY to ALL of it.
You can trace every single (-) (or +) state based on how you are  loving (or beating up) your kid.

You have a WONDERFUL child.  Hug her, love her, accept her through it all.....she is absolutely doing the best she can in the moment.   The more you love her and don't judge her....the more healthy and able she will become.

Please trust me on this....it is the most important break-through, psychologically and with REAL-time benefit, of my entire life."

I realize we work with the Inner Child in Source Seminars....and I have been doing this type of work for decades.  I am not exactly sure what flipped the switch but my ongoing, real-time, Connection and relationship with my inner kid has never been this vibrant, healing, and significant.

Very recently I had an simultaneous encounter with a few individuals who were in an intense reactive, emotional, and angry state.  All this energy was directed at me.  For the first time in my life I could sit calmly, listen, evaluate the information I was hearing for it's relative worth and assistance, with absolutely ZERO defensiveness.  I did not feel bad, wrong, or have any desire to hurt my inner child, myself, or project back any of the energy.  I only chose to learn what I could to become a better person, and to advance myself spiritually with what was being presented to me as a wonderful opportunity.

I also knew that if there was this much energy on ANYTHING...it was being triggered by something much deeper than present time for those involved.  I knew they had to be beating up their little kids as well...and this was leading to projected anger and unhappiness.

My take-away was compassion, reasonable information that I will use to guide my future decisions and interaction, and peace and joy in the gifts of evolution being given to me.

After further personal growth work, those involved uncovered deep parent issues that made their little ones feel not good enough, unworthy, uncared about, etc.

I am here to state clearly once again: If we do not judge our little ones we will not judge anyone else and vice versa!  We will be able to live and grow in peace and calmness.  Issues will come up AND we will be able to resolve them without emotional turmoil!

So this morning, early on, I realized I was judging one of my gurus.  Amazing, right?  I was judging Him for not spending more time with His guru during the final year of His guru's life.  He had returned to India at His Teacher's behest because His Teacher knew His life was drawing to a close.  When I realized what I was doing, I immediately knew if there was judgment, my little kid was involved.  I thought about it and understood that my little kid was feeling bad about not having the opportunity to be with that same Teacher as Yogananda had, and was resentful that Yogananda did not seem to value that incredibly good fortune.

Of course, in truth, I have no idea what Yogananda thought or about His value....I was just projecting my pain on Him!

Then this morning in the Dome, I was really trying hard to concentrate...in fact I was tense doing so.  I realized my little kid was worried that it would not be "doing it right".  I told my kid that my God and Gurus would still love us whether or not we did it right.  I even realized that one reason I was plagued with mind-wandering was that my kid did not think it could "do it right" and was simply avoiding!

Once I had this interaction with my little kid, and assured her how lovable she was, regardless, we had an amazingly focused meditation.  So much so, that I cried.

Again, it is we, or our kids, that cause our limitations, merely from experiencing a LACK OF LOVE!!!

I recall a dream last night where I was speaking to a young woman in an abusive relationship, and as her eyes filled with tears, I told her she could not allow her little kid to be exposed to that treatment any longer!  This awareness is permeating my Consciousness at all levels!

I exhort ALL of us to give big hugs to our little ones...and not once chastise them today!  They are lovable...as we are lovable...to the very CORE!

Loving you always, k

Living the dream

 Good Morning!

I have never been more in love with or Connected to my little girl.  I am very protective and the moment my ego starts to judge her....or anyone else!...I jump in and put an end to it!  I realize now that judging outward or inward is just part of the same continuum.  If you are doing one, you will inevitably do the other!

As soon as someone starts to apologize or make noises about offending me or whatever, I stop them and say, "I am not into judging anyone for anything! It's ALL O.K. with me!"

I confess that mental judgments still encroach into my brain space, and as soon as I am aware of them I push them right back out.  Judgments are habitual, robotic little buggers and it's amazing how long I have put up with them!

Live and Let Live takes incredibly less energy than minding other people's business, haha.  WHOO-HOO!  If I get "micromanaging" feedback, which I truly believe is sometimes wisdom garnered over decades of life and experience, I just back off.  If folks choose to re-create the wheel, or do it their way which may  appear as the hard way to me, that's their business not mine. 

Of course in a coaching, treatment, or training setting, those boundaries don't exist.  They have paid me for input and direction and yep, they will get it!

Probably the hardest thing is to keep remembering not to care what other people think about me.  Boy....that was sure an ingrained habit!  My ego automatically scans faces, body language, whatever for an "acceptance" read...then I remind myself that if I am pleasing my God, Guru, and little girl inside (which translates also as being AUTHENTIC and HEART-CONNECTED) I am doing just fine, thank you!

I really do ENJOY giving people the space to be who they choose to be as well.  God created as many unique beings as there are souls, I believe.  Each one just hasn't realized that yet.  Won't the world be a fun place when we can all share it in deepest authenticity, Connection and love?!

I will be spending this weekend with some wonderful Core IV people and I am looking forward to experiencing what that's like in my new frame of mind.  The world continues to seem so NEW to me...and bright and shiny and utterly FILLED with creative possibilities.  The only thing that ever limits us are the artificial boundaries of our own minds!

Loving you always, k

 

Getting to the Heart of it Part 3

The final installment of a blog begun two days ago....

Considering all these memories, I lay there in bed and became more and more JOYOUS.  I realized it absolutely did not matter what others thought of me, what their judgments, admonitions, tisk-tisk, nay-saying head shakes, bold gossip might be!  As long as I am in Connection with my heart, and as long as I am AUTHENTIC to my SELF/self, I have my GOD-given right to be ME!  My Gurus, my GOD actually ENJOY my fullest expression of all I uniquely am.  My Guru also told me bumping up against others' judgments was sometimes no fun....I should be aware of that (I KNOW it happened to Him too.)  Yet the freedom, the happiness of accepting oneself as one is....the funny, unusual, different ways I am in comparison to the herd, is 100% worth any fallout.

A HUGE realization is that in loving and accepting myself fully, in no longer JUDGING myself, I have ZERO desire to judge ANYONE else.  I can live in absolute non-violation of anyone else's self-expression except as may be necessary in actual self-defense.  I KNOW that ALL judgment stems from SELF-judgment.  The very ones who may be triggered by my unorthodox ways are actually much harder on themselves, on their own inner children, whether they are aware of this or not.  I can only feel compassion for them and their little kids...and true love.  After all, we are all a part of the same loving ONE.

So I began receiving external confirmations of  my Aha!  When I visited the Hermitage on Sunday I entered with a huge smile on my face.  This was a bit out of the decorum of this most sacred environment.  I considered such and thought, "I am truly this happy....I will not hide it!"

Flashing a giant grin at the nun on watch, I flung myself at the foot of my Master's bedroom, and symbolically at His Feet, in immeasurable gratitude.  I stayed, and stayed, as apparently no one else was waiting...unusual.  At last I inquired of the nun, "Is no one here?" She replied that there was no one.  I then requested she let me know when there was and I would just keep drinking of the divine nectar.

A little while later she coughed and it was time for me to leave.  As I walked past her, and the person in line took my spot, she whispered, "Go ahead, get  in line again, and go back!"

I was stunned.  I have been going to this shrine for over forty years and have never heard this before!  I did just that and double-dipped!

When I attended the Gita study I heard twice that we are not to attend to what others think of us....we are only to consider what God thinks of us...and please HIM!

That evening I returned a call from one of the people who triggered my aha in the first place.  When I told them that my non-conforming behavior was what triggered their departure they agreed.  My Guru had led me to the Truth behind the whole incident...and He had also SET ME FREE!

I felt no chagrin, no sadness even.  God Bless Them and let them do as they choose....AND SO WILL I!

With heart connection, and in my full authenticity, I can say:  The world IS a safe place...because I have decided to make it so.  My little girl says to your little one, "Let's dance and play and be filled with happiness.  In grand "allowance" let us let EVERYONE else do so as well!  We will NOT rain on anyone else's parade!  And if any one tries to rain on ours?  Well, that's not our business because all we intend to create for ourselves  are SUNNY DAYS!"

Loving you always, k

Getting to the Heart of it Part 2

Good Morning!

To continue the story of the revelation of my A-ha begun in yesterday's blog....

Case in point:  At Christmastime, our dear friend Father Charles, a Catholic priest (that  friendship alone might be considered suspect in some orthodox spiritual circles) told us that Jesus' name was actually Jeshua (pronounced Yesh-u-uh) in Hebrew and that was the name Jesus would have used and heard Himself.  I used it while chanting on the harmonium during a 6 hour New Years Eve meditation.  The profound and unique power of using His actual name was phenomenal.  Later Father Charles shared that Hebrew was similar to Sanskrit regarding the unusual and concretizing power of the syllables themselves.

I used "Jeshua"in an opening prayer yesterday and I am now certain that was yet another trigger point.  I have also heard Yogananda several times pronounce the name of Lahiri Mahasaya very differently than the way we commonly hear.  I choose to use Yogananda's pronunciation (Laah-ree Mah-shy) since He grew up hearing it that way with both of his parents being Lahiri's disciples.  Closer to the Source, so to speak, I am betting His is the correct pronunciation.  I actually Do think it matters.  How do you respond when someone calls your name?  Is it as easy and instant when it is mispronounced?

I know in pronouncing these sacred names differently than is commonly done, I am allowing myself to again be the "target".  I reflected upon why it is so important for some people to "fit in", to "do it right", to be accepted, as it were.  I recognized a common core to each one who seemed to be of that frame of mind.  There is a core insecurity, a fear-base, which is concomitant to the desire of not making any waves.  This desire to do as one is expected to do, to be as one is expected to be, also bleeds over into those with whom we associate.  If these associates might be seen as suspect, as out-of-the-box, that surely might wash over to how others might also perceive the individual concerned about being a part of the company code.

This was not a one-way observation.  I surveyed myself to note the times I had described someone as weird, odd, strange, different.  If these souls were merely expressing themselves authentically, with no desire to or actually harm  anyone else, why did I find it necessary to use such labels?  I HAVE RESOLVED TO NEVER DO SO AGAIN!

At the end of last night's film, the idea of not violating another's space was outlined.  The value of not interfering with another's free expression with any resistance, violence, judgment was discussed...unless it was in self-defense.  Truly, a LIVE and LET LIVE attitude!  The creative, colorful, successful, and happy world which would result in such a benevolent way of Being was also depicted,  There was just so much LIGHT, LOVE, ENERGY flowing and being encouraged to flow in such an openhearted atmosphere.

I realized that what was truly important for me was to be AUTHENTIC and Heart-directed.  When I am so it does not matter what others think of me.  I am in Connection with my Heart and the Heart of my Beloved, and The ONE supports the expression of my Authentic Self!  I considered each of the Saints and Sages with whom I am familiar.  I knew They certainly expressed Themselves in an utterly spontaneous, often child-like way.  They were Alight with Joy, Love, Playfulness, and Charity. Ever non-judgmental, They felt a Heart Connection with ALL LIFE.

I then considered great historical saints, such as St. Francis. What a totally out-of-the-box Guy!!!  In fact, even as He lay dying, and singing His Canticle, one of His top "administrators" was frowning...expressing that this was not a "dignified" way for the saint to pass away.  HaHa!!!

So, even though founders of various religious orders and whole spiritual paths were spontaneous and FREE, Their organizations became more rigid, controlled, monotone over time.  Indeed, I doubt even Christ would be admitted as a member of most "Christian" churches today!!!  With that beard, those worn clothes (not to mention His direct, super-authentic message)....are you kidding?!!!!

These musings brought memory of two significant incidents in my own earlier life.  I had sought membership in a certain spiritual residential community when I was brand new on my Path.  The staid and sedate members of the community chose the thumbs-down.  However, the spiritual leader interceded and said, "No, I know her heart.  Let her stay."  I stayed for two years and became an integral and indeed, very productive and desirable, part of their group effort.

A while later I came to Encinitas with the intention of beginning a spiritual school for children.  I met with a most respected Brother during the months prior as the idea was coming to germination.  When it was time, I gave a presentation to a group of prospective parents.  I put on no airs, I was countrified and certainly not "polished" although I was well-educated and prepared in my field.  One of these attendees, from a long-time, very well-respected SRF family, was very put off by my informal mien.  She went to the same respected Brother stating I should not be supported in my intention.  He said, "No, let her be.  I know her heart."

To be continued, haha!

Getting to the Heart of it

Good Sunday!

I had one of the most profound AHA-S! in my life upon awakening today.  I was blessed in that I was able to have a lengthy discussion with Dennis about it...so he can assist me to remember.  He also said it might be difficult to relay it in one blog.  I know it is a discovery with many facets and requires more than one blog to complete.

Yesterday was a busy day for us as we began with a long meditation in the dome, then Spring Dome-Cleaning after breakfast, preparing for and giving a breathwork, another dome meditation, putting a quick home-made meal together at the hour-long break before we showed one of the most important movies EVER!

Juxtapositioned between all that were too similar and powerful experiences of what my little kid received as rejection,  abandonment, and not-good-enough. Still, the show must go on, right?

The neat thing about being a disciple of a fully-Realized spiritual teacher is that I knew He had put the timing together...particularly as both of these incidences stemmed from people who were His disciples as well.  He was choosing for me to take notice and "get" the learning from the experiences so I could move forward on my Path Homeward.  I asked Him to show me what I must learn.

I believe it is easier to assimilate knowledge and put things together in the sleep state as the ego is less resistant and one's inner compass more accessible.

When I awoke, my mind considered the experiences again and I KNEW.  It was also because of the incredible movie we screened last evening.  In one segment they showed how we are molded into a lock-step component of a very controlled society by attending public or private school for 12 years.  What we really learn is to bend to the will of authority....and react the way we are "expected" to react to whatever is presented.  We inculcate societal norms and our feelings of self-esteem are based on what others think of us.

We are conditioned to "fit in" and do what we are told, and as "everyone else" is doing.  This makes us very easy to control and manipulate by an elite few who have the power and position to do so.  The film showed lines and lines of marching people all dressed the same, moving the same direction, in absolute "order".

I thought about myself. Repeatedly, in this lifetime, I have been chastised by groups, organizations, etc. for expressing myself  in my irrepressible, authentic, heart-felt way.  Each time, the little girl inside was hurt and ashamed, as she thought she must be "bad", "wrong", etc.

This was the feeling popping up yesterday as well...although it was fairly well buried.  Last night, as I was preparing for bed, I acknowledged those feelings and said out-loud, "But Master loves me anyway.  You are Not bad, little one!"

I also thought of ways I was "different", and of instances when I expressed myself authentically which were "out of the box".  I pondered if this meant I must squeeze back into the box and conform.

As I lay abed today I considered all of this in light of the rejection/abandonment experiences.  I absolutely KNEW that the people in question had been triggered, repeatedly in one case, by my lack of conformation.  I reflected on their own experience, and noted they were engrossing themselves more and more into  the "corporate culture" of their spiritual organization.  Therefore, my own unique expression of my spirituality would be more and more triggering.

To be continued....

                                                 

We are what we eat

Good Evening!

I left you knowing of my decision regarding the ingestion of sugar.  Things are going very well on that front, although I choose to relay that I had not considered several rather expensive and dear foodstuffs I had very recently purchased that did have sugar.  Den and I decided to eat what was already about the house, as desired.  I have also ransacked the cupboards and fridge and got rid of a TON of stuff.  Haven't had that much space in either fridge or shelf in forever!  I went to Trader Joe's today and bought nearly all fresh fruits and veggies for the upcoming training and of course nothing with sugar!  It sure makes shopping different to skip nearly all processed foods.  I am definitely feeling healthier as well.

We have been watching some very powerful documentaries on food and diet, and the effects thereof, to support our new direction.  One will be available for free online only through March 31.  IF THERE IS ANY WAY YOU CAN VIEW IT, DO!!!  We have already seen it twice.  Here is the website address.   I just pasted it in my address bar and it took me to the site which showed where to click to watch the film online.

www.HungryForChange.tv/online-premiere

We then watched a wonderful film: Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead which had a profound effect on my whole family.  I actually think it has put a nationwide run on the juicer used in the film, as it was sold out in nearly every venue including Amazon.com.  I finally found one which just came back in stock today online at Everythingkitchens.com and the woman said they are in stock for about one or two days before running out, time after time.

We have watched Food, Inc., an incredible documentary about food in the U.S.  I had no idea that nearly all food production in the States is controlled by only 4 main companies which operate solely from a profit incentive.  Health be damned.

We just ordered another film, Food Matters, and I am hearing folks everywhere talking about this revolution in the way we relate to our food.  Today I was speaking to a young man employed at Costco about all of this and he told me about a documentary that had quite an effect on him: Forks over Knives.  When others there inquired why I was only buying a ten pound bag of organic carrots (such a deal, haha), I explained my current food direction and the sugar thing and each nodded in agreement.  Some said they had done something similar in the past due to one film or another and felt inspired to return to such when reminded of it today.

Something is really afoot here...I can just FEEL it.  It seems like we are on the verge of a Mass Awareness regarding the very true premise, "We are what we eat" (at least physically, and to a certain extent mentally and spiritually as well.)

This has been a long time coming for me and I am both grateful and excited that I seem to be getting a handle on it.  One woman reminded me of the book Sugar Blues, published in the eighties.  Here is what Amazon had to say about it:

It's a prime ingredient in countless substances from cereal to soup, from cola to coffee. Consumed at the rate of one hundred pounds for every American every year, it's as addictive as nicotine -- and as poisonous. It's sugar. And "Sugar Blues", inspired by the crusade of Hollywood legend Gloria Swanson, is the classic, bestselling expose that unmasks our generation's greatest medical killer and shows how a revitalizing, sugar-free diet can not only change lives, but quite possibly save them.

I nearly winced when she brought it to my mind, as I recall that even then I knew I  must give sugar up.  Decades later, I am finally ready. Whew.

I feel certain that if you open yourself up to these various films, etc. you too will be inspired to do whatever it is that is necessary for you.  We each "know" internally what that is for ourselves....and eventually our Higher Self WILL prevail.

Loving you always, k

 

Putting it out there....

Good Sunday!

Den and I flew to Wyoming early Friday to pick up and haul home an International Travelall carcass...with which he will continue his restoration of his beloved 1967 Travelall.  This was a mega-undertaking involving driving across 5 states in under 30 hours pulling a giant car trailer with a huge Uhaul truck.  Winds were blowing hard and heavy, of course stormy weather was part of the package, as was an underlying concern that the Travelall might not stay put.

This was def one of those times when I was sure glad to have a "working relationship" with my Gurus, haha.  Although we utilized driving time well with an intent study of several SRF Lessons, and had decent meditations, I still noted I felt quite spent when awakening this AM.  I did feel connected to God and Gurus AND I noted a very strong desire to get right into meditation to repair whatever happens to one when driving that far, that fast.

Skooting from the dome to 2nd Temple service, I was delighted to see my Gurus had saved me my favorite seat right in front of Their portraits, even though I arrived brief minutes before service began. The lecture was great too and I am even considering going to 2nd service more often.  The minister has had one run-through of his talk at first service, and it really felt like this practice made the effect of his 2nd recitation more powerful.

I had stopped by Sprouts on the day before we left and one of the employees had directed me to the bulk food bins when I inquired about snacks for the trip.  She pointed out items on sale, and I narrowed my focus to that category.  Not thinking it through, I purchased vegetable chips (reasonable), light and dark chocolate almonds, peanut-butter filled pretzel pillows, and mini peanut-butter cups.  Really!  What WAS I thinking???  We had nothing but primarily CANDY to eat for two days!

I now believe this was possibly a Guru-driven state of affairs.  The final lesson we studied was #15, GOOD AND BAD HABITS.  Noticing food greed mentioned more than once, I sat there bloated from all that candy.  EEW!

It wasn't that much of a stretch to decide to fast today AND, FINALLY, decide to give up eating sugar!  I know this is something I should have decided years ago, and, better late than never!  The SRF Lesson really assisted and we are now going to methodically review all of the Lessons on the subject of habits as an assist to keep this resolution intact.  Den is on board as well.

I will do it the way we ask of the Source trainees, no sugar or sugar substitue as an ingredient,  or high fructose corn syrup, ETC.  Agave, maple syrup, stevia, honey will still be allowed.

I am "putting it out there" into the blog for moral support, accountability, AND....anybody choosing to do this with me?  It's always more fun and easier if you've got habit-breaking buddies, I am sure of that! Let me know if you are throwing your hat into the no-sugar ring with me!

I do choose to say that I will still eat Master's birthday cake at Temple, which certainly has sugar in it.  I recall Yogananda expected Rajarsi to do so, even though he was also sugar-free, so RJ would be in control over even his healthy preferences.  I recall RJ speaking of his experience of Master's birthday celebration the year after Yogananda had left His body.  He had personal, astral experiences with Yogananda on that day as well and he mentioned that Yogananda was particularly pleased that RJ went ahead and ate birthday cake at the formal service.

I am sure there will be times where I will have no way of knowing if sugar is an ingredient in something I am to eat outside of my home...and I will have to just go with the flow.  My decision to no longer obtain sugar, choose sugar, consciously eat sugar, is huge.  I am sure that will be sufficient.

I have heard from those who have done so that after a couple of months of abstinence, if one does taste sugar, it is not appealing at all.  It is much too sweet.  Looking forward to that, haha.

Yogananda says that it takes 5 to 8 years to break a bad habit.  This may be a long haul...kind of like that trip from Wyoming...and a lot longer!

Just in the nick of time, methinks, as I was beginning to become obsessed with the almond croissants at the bakery next door to the Temple.  Besides, at my age, it's past-time to start giving my body every good shot at a graceful old-age it can get!  It still must sustain me through lots of work I have left to do to get a ticket on that bus to Hiranyaloka!

Loving you always, k

Watching

Good Day!

We have been keeping our early-rising morning meditation commitment as I keep intently visualizing creating the early-to-bed, early-to-rise-and-meditate habit in my spiritual eye at meditation end.  I do think this practice is effective in establishing desired good habits.

An interesting observation: although i got so into my meditation yesterday morning I felt like I could've spent the entire day in the dome, I still experienced resistance to attending the 2 hour temple meditation last night.  That surprised me.  How is it that the ego can take back "lost territory" that fast?  It wasn't a strong enough ego attack to win the battle, we did attend the whole meditation, yet it really shows how powerful maya (cosmic delusion) is.  Our souls barely have a chance to resist the outward pull if we aren't regularly meditating morning and evening.    That's why we each must keep keeping on....even when it seems like we are just treading water, we are still strengthening the turning-inward samskaras (seed tendencies) and giving our Soul Soldiers of Discrimination some ammunition to continue the good fight against going back to sleep.

Dennis and I were both ending our one-day fast this morning, and I do notice I am definitely more reaction-prone at this end of the food abstinence.  The direction I received today from my Teachers: Observe, be the Watcher, standing back and "seeing" the ego's reactiveness.  Investing this much in my Soul will allow the process of de-identification with ego to happen.  It seems to be happening so *$@#%  slow sometimes....and WHO do you think is making THAT judgment, haha.

I am hoping that enough observation of the ego in the clutches of frustrated response to the expectation/hope/desire for a certain outcome or circumstance will eventually lead to a state of amused incredulity.  Certainly a Soul that is allowed to surface enough to observe would find it incredible that anyone would get that fixed on a DREAM.

I must start to see that life is meant to present "problems" although I do not have to qualify them as such.  They are merely opportunities for growth that I may continue moving forward on my path HOME.  Also, physical life is by nature a series of UPS and Downs...because it is rooted in the DUAL matrix of planet earth.  Ah...how I love that poem SAMADHI (here a small part):

Love, hate, health, disease, life, death

Perished these false shadows on the screen of duality.

The storm of maya stilled by magic wand of intuition deep.

I recite it daily and surely it's wisdom will seep deeper and deeper into my Consciousness.

My beloved Teacher says that intuition deep is developed by consistent:

"Deeper, longer, thirsty Guru-given meditation."

I am certain I could write a whole blog just on the relevance of each line of that poem.  So much better if you choose to memorize it and make it your OWN daily paean to SANITY while living on the earth-plane! (It's in the original maroon-covered Whispers from Eternity).

I'm now off to more ego adventures, with the Soul in quiet observance, haha.

Loving you always, k

                                      

 

Habit Creation

Good Morning!

I have been praying to overcome some unfriendly habits. Hurrah, yesterday's excellent Sunday Service by the ever-esteem-able Bro. Bhumananda was on just that!  He mentioned one particular technique extolled by Yogananda.  After one meditates deeply and is thus very calm  in mind and body, one should concentrate intently at the spiritual eye.  Visualize strongly the creation of the habit desired, and/or the dissolution of the offending habit.  Continue to do so following each meditation.

Bingo!  I did just this at both the Temple meditations I attended yesterday.  It seems to be working...I admit, it's only been one day, and STILL! (Always good to emphasize the positive, right?)

I intently saw Den and I retiring earlier, and getting up much earlier to get in a proper meditation when most of the world (around here at least) is still sleeping.  We did....and we did!  What a difference!  Den mentioned his mind was not nearly so thought-filled.  I got to that sweet spot where I just wish I never had to leave.  The one where one KNOWS this world is just a dream and the bliss behind it is ours for the taking!

Tonight we are going to the Lesson Study and Meditation and I am visualizing us getting home and immediately into bed (after brushing teeth, of course, haha).

We have also been studying Lessons together most days, and that, too, has made a tremendous difference.  Concentrating on such deep words of truth, even for a few minutes, seems to provide very worthy navigation skills through the rocky straits of maya. 

One of the best reminders to come from the Lessons of late is that this dream world is no different than the dream world we create when we sleep.  It is just as much a fabrication, it is equally based on unreality.  It is amazingly constructed to look real because the Master Creator was the architect.  If we consistently remind ourselves it IS a dream, we can identify more closely with the Truth of our inherent Bliss-natures, and greatly blunt the shocks and shoves this world serves out continually.

I propose you establish your most desired habit in your spiritual eye after meditation with all the will you can summon.  You just may find it sprouting up healthily in your life come the morrow!  Water it with repetition each time you meditate and you WILL create the life you choose!

Loving you always, k

MY Stuff

Good Day!!

I have been thinking of you and blogging seems to have been slipping through the hours and through the days.  This is a "Holi-day" time for us in that two very special "Mahasamahi" services are in this one week...yesterday and tomorrow.  Yogananda and Sri Yukteswar's CONSCIOUS exit from the body are called Mahasamadhis.  We endeavor to do a  6 hour meditation from 4 to ten on the morning of, starting at 3:30AM, with the 6 Rites and EE's.

Of course, this makes an amazing difference in our receptivity at the evening ceremony itself.

Today is the mid-point between the two sacred days.  I notice several things.  My ego's resistance to more spiritual practice, it's interest in food after my one-day fast, and lastly, it's response to others. 

I went to a yoga class today specifically to experience a particular teacher whom I had not yet met.  His bio was attractive to me because of his spiritual background.  When I arrived he announced that the class would be co-led by his wife.  This was interesting because, although I had never had a class with her, I had experienced a dissonance, an adverse reaction to  her, when I had seen her elsewhere.

I noticed how my ego did not like her voice (too harsh, it said), her heavy breathing (too loud, distracting, it said).  It judged her as superficial, new-agey, blah, blah, blah.

Ironically, the male teacher had to leave early and left the rest of the class to be led by her.  I had to laugh....

During the reminder of the class I began to see things about her style that I could appreciate.  I also realized ALL, precisely ALL, of my reaction was merely projection of my OWN unfinished "stuff".  I felt let-down, even teary, when I recognized all the work I still  had to do on MYSELF.

Again and again, when I am in reaction I must bring it HOME and OWN IT within me.  There is nothing "out there"....it's all about MY perception, my reception, MY STUFF.

I am feeling better about my ability to frame it all being presented for my learning, my growth.  More and more I am able to turn each moment over to my beloved Teachers, my beloved ONE, knowing They DO have my back, and They know my sincerity in spite of the enormous flaws still projecting from my ego.  

I KNOW that They will see it all turns out just right....if I can just leave it in Their Amazingly Competent Hands!

I am NOT that mess, my ego, I am the Pure and Perfect Soul behind it.  I must be amused at it's absurdity, it's myopia, it's foolishness and latch on to the REAL...My Soul, My SELF.

I am looking forward to tonight's Temple service, tomorrow's 6 hour meditation, and tomorrow evening's Mahasamadhi Service.  They will keep working on me to WAKE UP.  They will assist me to remember WHO I AM.

Thank/s GOD!

Loving you always, k

                                         

On Divine Friendship

Good Morning,

I had a profound experience which I am choosing to share.  It is unlike anything I have known in this lifetime.  Each of the elements of time, space, inner and outer desire came into confluence and presented an almost seamless amalgam of long-held hopes and dreams satisfied.  To be more precise...with the eminent possibility of their satisfaction.

I was absolutely stunned that such a thing could even occur!  We each have dreams, fantasies, reveries....and do we really ever imagine that they will be completely satisfied...down to the smallest, seemingly impossible detail?

I felt the goal within my grasp, knowing it was absolutely probable that it would be mine.  I kept looking heavenward, shaking my head.  How could such a stupendous thing even occur?  Surely life is supposed to more difficult, surely I was not really worthy of such a gift, surely I did not have THIS much good karma.  Wasn't I supposed to learn more through suffering the lack of satisfied desires?

I meditated on it all deeply, and kept turning the outcome over to the ONE.  I had my prayers all lined up and ready:

"Beloved Lord, teach me to feel that Thou art the sole activating power, and that in recognition of Thee as the Doer lies the value of all my life's experiences.  Teach me to behold Thee as the only Friend, helping and encouraging me through my earthly friends."

"I will Thy will be done.  I will my perfect alignment with Thy Divine Will for me now."

I felt far less attachment to material conditions, especially extremely desirous ones, then I have ever felt before.  I practiced a technique from Yogananda's playbook, which He had utilized when a surprising desire popped up in His life.  He pretended that this unexpected desire was a fait accompli and He was enjoying the absolute fulfillment of that desire in present time.  After practicing this for a day, He felt complete, and easily let the desire go.

My desire pattern was not adverse, negative, off-course yet I deeply chose for God to be the major mover in whatever was to come.  I did fully enjoy the day practicing the above technique and waited to see what might unfold.  I did feel peaceful and not at the effect of the external.

What happened next was indeed surprising.  Another element was introduced into the scenario and a key player was absolutely taken with the new possibility.  The two of us were then at odds, which had not been the case before.  Each of us desiring quite deeply two different and mutually exclusive outcomes. 

I laughed ruefully...how interesting that God would play it this way.   If either possibility had been an exclusive presentation there would have been no differences!  Now this new choice introduced disparity and frustration.  I could see no possible way for resolution to occur.

I awoke in the middle of the night and reflected on the whole matter.  I had been studying SRF Lesson #4 on Friendship.

"One who has given his friendship to another gladly forgoes selfish pleasures or self-interest for the sake of his friend's happiness, without consciousness of loss or sacrifice, and without counting the cost."

I fully confess I wept and wept at the prospect of having to give up my "perfect dream" for the sake of my friend's happiness.  How could I do that?  It just seemed too hard.  And yet...another voice, a deeper, soulful voice was whispering it was definitely my next step. 

I kept working with it, and with the various prayers and affirmations with which I have been permeating myself. (Underlining is mine.)

"Each morning I offer my body, my mind, and any ability I possess to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator, in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.  I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service."

So if no task was too difficult, then I COULD pull this off!  I meditated and prayed until gradually my soul got the upper hand and my ego started to calm down and listen.  One truly convincing thing...I knew if I could make this large of a concession in my desire to live Divine Friendship, all the little concessions, and patiences, and give-ups would be a piece of cake!

I also knew that I could never allow resentment or expectation of appreciation or whatever to taint the purity of my motive.  This had to be a clear, permanent decision and the ego could never be allowed to sneak back in and nay-say it.

I finally returned to bed 3 hours later and slept like a baby.  I awoke up in Peace and absolutely cherished the change in my consciousness.  Something had definitely switched.  When I saw my eyes they had a sparkle in them that I had never really seen before.

I have been experiencing a different way of relating and living my life ever since.  And though I had no expectations my selfless expression must have triggered something because I have been receiving much love and sweet appreciation generally.  There has been nothing around the "story" specifically AND I have such a wonderful hope and joy for the unfolding future.

I really do not know how this "story" will actually turn out...and you know, I don't really care.  I DO know that God and Gurus have my back and as long as I receive whatever is presented in the context of my own growth and advancement, and try my best to utilize it in that way, all that comes can only be for my Greater Good!

I choose to live my Divine Friendship with each one dancing the  Dance of Life with me....I know the ego is a sneaky little devil, and sometimes it will outwit even my strongest and best intentions, AND I also know I have a whole posse of Saints and Sages that are not only cheering me on...but taking much of the sour and transforming it into the Sweet.  That's just what They do!  They, truly, know how to be the most perfect Divine Friends!

Loving you always, k

Time to become more lamblike....

Asilomar

Good Morning!

I am using a very small screen, new-fangled, padlike-thing of Den's to write on, so this is probably going to be a short blog, haha.

Yoganananda recommends separate beds, perhaps separate bedrooms (can't recall) for married couples. This is one of the few reccs I have not been able to jump on board with. Even though Den and I are celibate I really appreciate the warm coziness of sleeping together.

We got a room here at this lovely ocean retreat refuge with a longview of the shoreline just above 17 mile drive in Monterey. Thing is...it has 2 queen beds. When I turned in last night while Den was still meditating I fully expected him to crawl in with me when finished.

Waking later I was not a happy camper to discover he was indeed in the other bed! I felt that ol' bad friend anger come knocking at me door...and lucky for me, I was able to leave that door unanswered and fall back to sleep!

I awoke in the night thinking the light at the window was the herrald of dawn. I did my hour of affirmations, etc and arose to meditate. It was a shock to see it was just 4AM! Still, I was wide awake and resolved to soldier on with my meditation preliminaries and then a good long seated meditation.

Hours later I was very pleased that I had.

Then it hit me. Yogananda was right...just like He ALWAYS is! I never would have left the warmth and coziness of Dennis and bed if I had been sleeping with him.

I value my meditation time, especially those very early hours, so much. I am going to have to re-think some things after my experience today. Our bedroom, in fact our house, in Leucadia is too small to change sleeping arrangements. Yet I have a feeling there change on the horizon which will accomodate such modifications.

As I amble into this last and most important phase of my life, I know my time with my Beloved, my meditation, indeed my whole spiritual focus must be paramount.

Today's experience presages just that. Following each element of my Guru's road map is essential. Enough said!

Loving you always, k

Sharing my day with the ONE

Good Evening!

I have been choosing to write this blog all day...and even though I am slated to arise in the middle of the night (truly) I just decided to put bed on hold and do it!!

This morning I was coming off my weekly one-day fast, and as I have noticed, I was a tad crabby.  I said something rude (just sharp, actually) to God...I often speak to Him.  I was immediately remorseful....He is always so kind and loving to me.  I apologized, several times, and later on I asked if He would forgive me.  He said, amused, "What other choice do I have?"  You know, it's true, God is so completely loving He really can't help Himself...He ALWAYS forgives!

The rest of the day I stayed close.  I had to drive up to Inshallah and back because I forgot some things up there that i chose to have with me...including my mala and the first bound volume of my SRF Lessons.  I left kind of in a hurry the other day...haha.  Shows "hurrying" never really saves time!  Still, it is really easy to Stay Connected and in conversation with and focus on the Divine when one is driving alone (not counting Taj).

I did 4 sets of the Peace and Harmony Prayer for 3 different people...well, one was for a couple.  I really got into it...and said them out loud and with passion, determination, conviction.  I noticed the effect on me as I did the same for myself during those 15 seconds each time I asked the Lord to fill ME with Peace and Harmony as well.

This evening I read an email sent by one of the parties for whom I have been reciting the prayer.  The whole situation between us and them has turned around and resolved in Peace and Harmony!  By God, I so strongly recommend this practice to you once again!!

The several hours riding in the car brought me incredibly close to the ONE and I saw again and again the tender care I was provided in so many small yet endearing ways along my route.  I miraculously managed to get up and back, with snow and rainy weather, with even a necessary stop at Costco, in time for a mid-afternoon hatha yoga class.

I am choosing to recommend repeating "Samadhi" line by line, and really contemplating the incredible depth of the poem.  It absolutely brings one into the Consciousness of the Divine...and Divine Communion.  The longer version is available in the original edition of Whispers from Eternity (maroon cover.) 

I also listened to the incomparable Snatam Kaur singing the first two songs on her CD "Grace".  I held a photo of my Guru by the steering wheel as she sang so beautifully "Gurudev, Gurudev namo."  Does bliss flow any easier?  I cannot believe it does!

We can take any mundane moment, any trivial activity, and charge it with Joy, Bliss, LOVE....just by sharing it with the ONE!  Just imagine what our lives would be, could be, if we but allowed ourselves such opportunity!

Loving you always, k

 

On thoughts

Good Morning!

Last night Den and I watched a very enlightening movie that we hope to soon show at a Source movie night.  We actually purchased it for $25, worth every penny!  What I noticed is that because it was such a positive message of hope for the future I awakened in a very good state.  I noticed that my affirmations were ease and grace and I was able to start my meditation much earlier than I have been lately, although my bedtime had been about the same.

I also noticed the profound influence of THOUGHT on my state.  I could instantly perceive the effect of the slightest negative input!  I immediately pulled away and re-focused on this great positive swell I was and am still experiencing.  I fully realized that we constantly create our life experience, both internal and external, by the thoughts we choose to harbor. 

Thoughts are free agents...they just pop in whether invited or not.  STILL, it is OUR choice whether to let them remain in our Consciousness! If you stay aware, you will immediately notice whether they are increasing your state of well-being, or knocking it down.  Sometimes it's subtle, AND if you pay attention you will KNOW the truth of the matter.

We read something at Sunday's Temple Gita Study and Meditation that I really liked (bold added):

"Many devotees who by powerful acts of daily concentration have driven away the forces of restlessness may suddenly be stricken with love of bodily happiness and of easygoing ways of life and thus refrain from combating, by fresh acts of deep meditation, mental inertia and distractions.

Every devotee who at will can command his attention to retire from the territory of the senses and to enthrone itself within is an object of admiration in the eyes of his own thoughts."

The idea of being admired by my thoughts was quite appealing...definitely a darn sight better than being kicked around by them, haha!

Today I intend to continue to monitor my thoughts closely.  If something adverse slips in I know I will become aware of it when my mood/attitude takes a similar tumble.

I invite you to create a pleasant day with me...built with happy, positive thoughts (and immediate detachment from thoughts which are not!)

Loving you always! k

Making challenging decisions and maintaining one's inner peace

Good Day!

I actually really chose to get to the blog today as it is definitely an assist at times in thinking things through, gaining clarity, and pruning insight into digestible portions!

I intuited when I set my intention to retain my inner peace and contentment as a priority I would be given a good run for my money, haha.  It has presented exactly as I felt it would.  In the past few days a challenging situation emerged.  At onset, the emotional charge projected by the other person involved was both tangible and almost startling.  I made a decision to go within for guidance and direction on just how to handle this rather rare occurrence.

Yesterday on awakening I had a clear answer.  Ironically, it came right out of Part ll, which we will be giving for the next 3 days.  We have an exercise in ll called Responding with an Honest NO.  I do believe it's worth the price and time of this whole training in itself.  I was clearly shown that I should 'live' what I teach, and utilize this information directly in my personal and professional life.

I did just that and my peace has been felt, when I have directed myself inward, ever since.  I have no control over outcome.  What I can control is my making decisions from my heart with integrity that reflect both my Teacher's Guidance and the soul's wisdom of what is right in a given situation.  I must make my best choice within these parameters and supports, and then let go of outcome completely.

The ego has been trained to REACT to others emotional manipulations, games, bullying, threats, whatever.  It often will holler 'PUNT' when it looks like my true path lies beyond my comfort zone.  This time I very clearly and carefully chose to ignore my ego's discomfort and just do what I believe, sincerely, to be RIGHT.

I must say I have never felt more peace, solidity, and composure when sh*t seems to be hitting the fan.  I have also felt more compassion for those who seem to have lost their emotional stability and discretion.  I recall my Teacher has said, "Blame does not make me worse, or praise better." 

I am what I am in the face of my God...and it is only The ONE'S blessing, along with my Teacher, that I seek.  Turning away from outer chaos to the inner realm of surety provides such amazing solace.

If my ego has a desire to defend itself I turn my focus back to the Divine and realize there is nothing to defend.  My job is to stay at peace amidst the crash of colliding worlds, defense is not required or really even appropriate.  I trust that I have made the best decision I could have in the hand dealt me, and I must maintain my inner compass at ALL costs.  The outcome is NOT important...what I become through the experience IS.

An interesting side-note.  Dennis suggested I do the Peace and Harmony Prayer for the principles involved.  Though I have been sending them Love and Light I had not done so in this formal practice.  I was resistant..since I am already doing it a minimum ten times daily. 

I climbed on "this horse" as well and at first I didn't much enjoy it.  Yet, and this is the enlightening part, the last couple of times done, I absolutely ADORED doing it.  I discovered that my ego's reaction of distaste for considering the situation and those involved had morphed into an enjoyable experience of Peace and Harmony when both situation and individuals were brought before the focus of my mind.  YES!  How very sweet that thoughts that brought unease have been pushed aside, and thoughts that bring serenity have been attracted though this venerable practice.  I hope you may take this idea and use it in your life with similar result!

Loving you always, k

No matter where I go....

Good Day!

Granted, it is always easier to Stay Connected when fasting...especially at the tail-end, haha.  I am just about to break my 3 day fast. :-)

I have been reciting the incomparable poem, GOD,GOD, GOD as one of many upon awakening.  I have been considering the lines:

"No matter where I go, the spotlight of my mind

  Ever keeps turning on Thee;                                               

And in the battle din of activity my silent war-cry is ever:                                                                                   

GOD, GOD, GOD!"             

 

I have  been reflecting on how wonderful it would be if they could actually be true for me in my life.  Then, today, suddenly, while at Trader Joe's shopping for this weekend's Part ll, those lines came ringing through!  Tears came to my eyes and my mind has returned to their sweet remembrance several times now.

Along with them, I have been spontaneously repeating the Light of Smiles.  It is so much fun to practice that paean in ones life.  Flashing a joyful smile to someone brings it's own rich reward.  Experiencing a return smile, or the response of surprised JOY when a stranger receives your grin, is just icing on ones inner child's cake!

I believe it just takes perserverance to have these God-filled moments in one's daily, all-too-human life.  Waking up and reciting the various affirmations, etc. immediately brings JOY, JOY, JOY and I  haven't even crawled out of bed yet!

I have continued saying:

"Each morning I offer my body, my mind, and any ability I possess, to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator, in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.  I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service."

I notice that when I am doing something difficult, this passage comes to me to ease the way.  When I am doing something trivial, this prayer makes it special anyway, because I am offering it to God.

I know as we fill up the small spaces of our lives with Divinity, we remember more and more we ARE Divine!  We recall that we are Divine Beings having a human experience and it is our inner world that is real, authentic, and ever-comforting and joyful.

I am finally beginning to understand that this is the real purpose of meditation...this is WHY we must control our thoughts!  We are pulling them away from our engrossment in the material, the outer, the inauthentic, and we are placing ourselves once again in the embrace of Eternal, all-solacing PERFECTION. 

Our souls are Perfect, and always filled with Bliss.  When we learn to fix the spotlight of our minds on THIS, we become filled with the JOY, PEACE, LOVE that has been and will ever be our Divine Birthright!

Loving you always, k

On keeping one's cool...

Good Day! (Sunshine)

We attended the Sunday Bhagavad Gita study and meditation at Temple yesterday, and, as is often the case, a few lines read made an awesome difference!

May I quote (from Verse 32, Chapter11): Italics mine.

"A devotee who tries to conquer his psychological tests and the trials of delusion by the Christ-command of his self-control, as Jesus stilled the storm on the sea, will gradually find within himself a permanent state of heavenly peace.  According to the spiritual law, the devotee who holds on to the aftereffects of meditation and who maintains, against any trial, his inward peace and joy in this life will pass after death to the Eternal Blissful Peace of God."

Wow!  That's some promise!  I tell you it sure has lit a motivational fire under my tush!  Just today some little wave in interaction between Den and I brought this passage to mind and I stated, "I intend to keep my inner peace so I can attain ETERNAL blissful peace when I transition!"  Dennis responded that he did too, haha!

If each of us can consistently inquire of ourselves in ANY situation if it is worth having Eternal blissful peace if we can keep our cool....I think we may just be able to make our Highest Choice! 

Another truism of life I am finally absorbing after 40 years on the path is that ALL life's experiences are explicitly for the purpose of our learning and revealing the Divinity we each are obscuring behind our egos.  We have choices...and sometimes those choices lead to pain.  We may well have had LESS pain if we had made an alternative choice AND we STILL can learn from a painful choice!! 

There are NO bad days or bad decisions or bad experiences.  EACH one is expressly delivered to us so that we may evolve!  I can honestly say that in hindsight there might have been better decisions, etc. AND perhaps we might not have learned as much, or as thoroughly, without the wild ride.  WHO KNOWS?  And really, who cares at this point in the ride?  Best to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and take inventory of what we got out of the situation THIS time! 

I do know if we don't get the lesson....the scenario will be repeated...again, again, and again.  If we get weary of the exercise, we may wisely choose to learn the material offered, pass the test, and move forward!!

This attitude is greatly assisting me in my work with others and in my personal relationships.  It is definitely shrinking the "worry" factor.  I observe a dear one on the precipice.  They are wavering on making a wise or a less wise choice.  From where I stand it appears that one will involve a lot more future pain than the other.  Still, no worries.  If they choose the painful route they obviously still require the painful route to learn.  Learn they eventually will, when they finally get tired of burning their fingers on maya's stove. 

What is our role as loving friends, parents, counselors?  NOT to say, "I told you so" but rather, "What can you learn from this?  How can I assist?"

When we approach the topsy-turvy inevitable change and duality of life on earth with the perspective that it is unfolding EXACTLY as we require it that we may grow, learn, emerge in our radiant Divinity, so much of the pressure, frustration, impatience, and reaction evaporates!

The world is happening just as it is supposed to!  It is OUR ATTITUDE, PERSPECTIVE, and RESOLVE to stay inwardly content that must be adjusted and fortified. 

INTROSPECTION as a means of self-awareness and self-correction as well as a resolutely positive attitude that we are receiving exactly what we require to GROW UP will be the pruning/gardening tools that turn the Sh*t into the best Soul-Awakening fertilizer available!

Loving you always, k